“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock,” said humorist Will Rogers. I hope you’ve been taking care of the “nice doggie” part, Aquarius — holding the adversarial forces and questionable influences at bay. As for the rock: I predict you will find it any minute now, perhaps even within an hour of reading this horoscope. Please keep in mind that you won’t necessarily have to throw the rock for it to serve its purpose. Merely brandishing it should be enough.
How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself? What well-informed and ingenious approaches can you use to get the most out of the raw materials you’re presented with?
Aquarius Horoscope for week of December 13, 2012
Be honest. Have you had any of the following symptoms? 1. Lack of interest in trivial matters and a yearning for big, holy mysteries. 2. Unfamiliar but interesting impulses rising up in you and demanding consideration. 3. Fresh insights into people and situations you’ve known a long time. 4. An altered sense of the flow of time. 5. Out-of-the-blue recall of long-forgotten memories. If you haven’t experienced any of the above, Aquarius, I must be totally off in my analysis and this horoscope isn’t for you. But if you’ve had even two of these symptoms, you are on schedule to get what those of us in the consciousness industry call a “religious experience.”
Sometimes it’s a challenge to try to figure out what’s important and what’s not important.
The German religious reformer Martin Luther was fond of referring to the faculty of reason as a “damned whore.” He believed it gave itself in service to any old theory, often propping up specious arguments rooted in hidden emotional agendas.
Though I regard my ability to reason as a prized asset, I confess to having some of Luther’s mistrust. Like most of us, I have corrupted my logical mind by sometimes using it to disguise and rationalize my subjective biases.
Can you imagine having so much self-awareness that you never turn your reasoning ability into a whore? Are you willing to probe with merciless honesty for the unconscious feelings that drive you to believe what you do, and to analyze the ways you mask your subjective biases as “objective fact”? Could you suspend all your preconceptions and greet every situation with a scrupulously open mind? Try to live up to that high standard for a period of three days.
“Dear Rob: I really enjoy reading your horoscopes. You feel like a friend I’ve never met. When I try to picture what you’re like, I keep getting a vision of you as being fat, short, and bald with a strawberry blond moustache. Am I right? – Curious Aquarius.” Dear Curious: It’s great that you’ve decided to do a reality check. This is an excellent time for all you Aquarians to see if what you imagine to be true is a match for the world as it actually is. To answer your question, I am in fact tall and thin, don’t wear a moustache, and have an abundance of long silver hair. Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright.
Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed.
Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
I firmly like to believe that what I imagine to be true is, but more often than not I find I am let down by my own expectations of who I expect people to be and what expectations I have for situations. I have found, especially when it comes to music, that if I don’t expect too much out of the musicians and different venue owners I have to work with then I am less prone to heartbreaks because I was let down. This isn’t to say that I don’t set the bar as high for everyone else as I do for myself, it is only to say that people are fickle and I am grateful for whatever little gems of light they have to give me. That is my only expectation, give me a tiny pin point of light and I will show you a sunbeam!
On that note here is our cover of “Come on People Now/Smile on Your Brother” by the Youngbloods. This was recorded by my husband and I about 3 or 4 years ago. Hope you enjoy!
Aquarius Horoscope for week of October 11, 2012
It’s time to seek help from outside the magic circle you usually stay inside. You need to call on extracurricular resources — people and animals and deities who can offer useful interventions and delightful serendipity and unexpected deliverance. The remedies that work for you most of the time just won’t be applicable in the coming days. The usual spiritual appeals will be irrelevant. I’m not saying that you are facing a dire predicament; not at all. What I’m suggesting is that the riddles you will be asked to solve are outside the purview of your customary guides and guidelines.
How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery?
Many people seem to believe that all of America’s Christians are and have always been fundamentalists. But the truth is that at most 35 percent of the total are fundies, and their movement has only gotten cultural traction in the last 30 years. So then why do their bizarre interpretations of the nature of reality get so much play? One reason is that they shout so loud and act so mean. Your upcoming assignment, Aquarius, is to do what you can to shift the focus from small-minded bullies to big-hearted visionaries, whether that applies to the Christians in your sphere or any other influences. It’s time to shrink any tendency you might have to get involved with energy vampires. Instead, give your full attention and lend your vigorous clout to life-affirming intelligence.
Somewhere there’s a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that’s meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things?
- How to Deal with Energy Sucking Vampires (selfhealthwellness.com)
“Show me the money” is a meme that first appeared in the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire. It has been uttered approximately a hundred trillion times since then. Have you ever said it in earnest? If so, you were probably demanding to get what you had been promised. You were telling people you wanted to see tangible proof that they valued your efforts. In light of your current astrological omens, I propose that you use a variation on this theme. What you need right now is less materialistic and more marvelous. Try making this your mantra: “Show me the magic.”
This is so true for me today. I just want to get on that stage on Saturday and do my very best performance and at the end of the day I really hope everyone loves the music that we perform. I know that not everyone is going to love what we do, I just hope that someone, just one person, will walk up and tell us they loved it.
Are you excited about your new detachable set of invisible wings? They’re ready. To get the full benefit of the freedom they make available, study these tips: 1. Don’t attach them to your feet or butt; they belong on your shoulders. 2. To preserve their sheen and functionality, avoid rolling in the muddy gutter while you’re wearing them. 3. Don’t use them just to show off. 4. It’s OK to fly around for sheer joy, though. 5. Never take them off in mid-flight.
Well Mr. Brezney, you have done it again. He has somehow tapped into the pulse of what is happening in my life, even though I don’t really believe in astrology. Tomorrow I get my driver’s license back after a one year suspension for an accident that I got into. And no, alcohol was not a factor. I’m not going to go into the details but to keep it simple I was in shock and left the scene, unintentionally, but never the less I did. The judge did not want to suspend me but the state does it automatically. At any rate, Rob has hit the nail on the head, I finally get my wings back tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier, except for the fact that I am going to have to be a taxi service for my mother, but that’s ok because she shouldn’t be driving and I have time to give her. Life is good!
“The far away, the very far, the farthest, I have found only in my own blood,” said poet Antonio Porchia. Let’s make that thought your keynote, Aquarius. Your assignment will be to search for what’s most exotic and unknown, but only in the privacy of your own heart, not out in the great wide world. For now at least, the inner realm is the location of the laboratory where the most useful experiments will unfold. Borrowing from novelist Carole Maso, I leave you with this: “Make love to the remoteness in yourself.”
When they say “Be yourself,” which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage.
Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you.
For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery.
Fantasize that your so-called “dark side” is sweet and creamy.
When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage.
Dream you’re a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall.
Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.
Buy seven used gowns worn to the Academy Awards show by famous actresses, and send them gratis to seven Guatemalan teenagers.
Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river.
Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times.
There’s a certain lesson in love that you have been studying and studying and studying — and yet have never quite mastered. Several different teachers have tried with only partial success to provide you with insights that would allow you to graduate to the next level of romantic understanding. That’s the bad news, Aquarius. The good news is that all this could change in the coming months. I foresee a breakthrough in your relationship with intimacy. I predict benevolent jolts and healing shocks that will allow you to learn at least some of the open-hearted truths that have eluded you all this time.
I am so guilty of this relationship infraction! I know that many women complain about lack of intimacy in their relationships with their spouses or better 1/2′s. I, on the other hand, hate being smothered. I love my space and I am guilty of not being the most affectionate person in the world. Don’t get the wrong impression, my husband and I touch each other and laugh and hug and kiss, but man I hate being suffocated. My husband fits me just perfect because he gives me hugs and kisses and loves. No, we don’t spoon at night and if we do it’s brief. I have one friend that has finally pushed me to the limits of our friendship. Every time he sees me he is always trying to hug me and I finally got to the point where I don’t even want to see him anymore because he’s always trying to put his hands on me and it makes my skin crawl. He thinks I am mad at him, and I guess in a way I am because I have told him to stop trying to hug up on me and he didn’t understand that he is an over whelming bear of a person that is overly affectionate. I really didn’t intend upon hurting his feeling, but “Hello!”, boundaries! I just hope my husband doesn’t feel that I am not affectionate enough….hmmmmm?
I don’t expect your travels in the coming weeks to be like a smooth luxury cruise in a stretch limousine. Your route is not likely to be a straight shot through breathtaking scenery with expansive views. No, my dear Aquarius, your journeys will be more complicated than that, more snakey and labyrinthine. Some of the narrow passages and weedy detours you’ll need to navigate may not even resemble paths, let alone highways. And your metaphorical vehicle may resemble a funky old 1967 Chevy pick-up truck or a forklift bedecked with flowers. It should be pretty fun, though. Keep in mind that your maps may only be partially useful.
Take inventory of the extent that “No” dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. “That’s not right.” 2. “I don’t like that.” 3. “I don’t agree with that.” 4. “They don’t like me.” 5. “I’m not very good.” 6. “That should be different from what it is.” For help in retraining yourself to say “Yes!” at least 51% of the time*
If you’re reading this, you’re probably not a Cambodian orphan who grew up as a slave in a brothel or a Sudanese man kidnapped by a militia and forced to do heavy labor 18 hours a day or one of the millions of other victims of human trafficking around the world. But you may be yoked and subjugated in a less literal way, perhaps to a debilitating drug or an abusive relationship or a job that brings out the worst in you or a fearful fantasy about the looming collapse of civilization’s infrastructure.
The good news is that you have the power to escape your bondage. Maybe it’ll help you muster the strength you need if I remind you that your freedom won’t be anywhere near as difficult to achieve as that of the Pakistani boy tied to a carpet loom in a dark room around the clock or the Nigerian woman who’s beaten daily as she toils in the sugar cane fields for no pay.
Try this: When you feel overwhelmed by the sadness of your problems or the addiction of your compulsions, put on your best clothes and clean toilets at a homeless shelter, or give foot massages to workers at a sewage disposal plant, or sing songs, sip champagne, and play card games with patients at a psychiatric hospital. Be ready to get hit upside the soul with exotic varieties of ecstasy, which such acts will unleash.
In old China, people used to cool themselves by sipping hot drinks. After taking a bath, they buffed the excess water from their skin by using a wet towel. When greeting a friend, they shook their own hand instead of the friend’s. To erect a new house, they built the roof first. You’re currently in a phase of your astrological cycle when this kind of behavior makes sense. In fact, I suspect you’re most likely to have a successful week if you’re ready to reverse your usual way of doing things on a regular basis.
How’s your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses?
What’s true about the word “God” may apply as well to “soul“: Much of the meaning has been sucked out of it. It’s a flabby ghost that has lost its life force. Say “soul” and you’re liable to numb your listeners’ attention. At best you may inspire them to picture a vague floating blob that feels more like an abstract concept than a real presence. That’s a shame, because the eminence that’s lazily referred to as “soul” is as crucial to you waking up tomorrow as your heart.
“If you need to visualize the soul,” wrote Tom Robbins, “think of it as a cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It’s a program, a piece of hyperspatial software designed explicitly to interface with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that can never be solved.”
As part of the Beauty and Truth Lab’s ongoing crusade to wrestle the English language into a more formidable servant of the ecstatic impulse, we’re pleased to present some alternate designations for “soul.” See if any of the following concoctions feel right coming out of your mouth: 1. undulating superconductor; 2. nectar plasma; 3. golden lather; 4. smoldering crucible; 5. luminous caduceus.
If none of these work for you—or even if they do—create your own terms.
P.S. Here’s Robbins’ conclusion: “By waxing soulful you will have granted yourself the possibility of ecstatic participation in what the ancients considered a divinely animated universe.”
OK Rob Brezney, a very strange astrology for the week. If I read this right I am supposed to reverse my way of doing things, unthink the way I normally think. I am supposed to liberate myself from my habits, obsessions and conditioned responses. I am supposed to find a new definition for the soul, I liked #5 Luminous (brightly lit) caduceus (healing staff carried by Hermes). To me that is an epiphany of internal healing.
My daughter Zoe has been writing some fine poetry these last few years. I regard it as professional-grade stuff that has been born of natural talent and developed through discipline and hard work. You might ask, quite reasonably, whether my evaluation of her literary output is skewed by fatherly pride. I’ve considered that possibility. But recently, my opinion got unbiased corroboration when her school awarded her with the “All-College Honor” for her poetry manuscript. I predict you will soon have a comparable experience. Your views or theories will be confirmed by an independent and objective source.
After rejecting proposals from many directors, Bob Dylan finally authorized Oscar-nominated Todd Haynes to make a film about his life, I’m Not There. Five different actors and one actress portrayed Dylan, including Richard Gere, Cate Blanchett, Marcus Carl Franklin, Heath Ledger, Ben Whishaw, and Christian Bale. “I set out to explode the idea that anybody can be depicted in a single self,” Haynes told The Sunday Times.
Ok Rob, I am sure there is some deeply intrinsic yet cosmic purpose behind this weeks astrology. I didn’t understand the last one until I found a $5 bill on the ground either, but hey, who am I? Maybe this is your way of telling me that I am going to get unasked for kudos on my music, maybe someone will suddenly appreciate my artwork…Who knows, but whatever it is, I Like It!
- Bob Dylan – Reigning in the Sunshine (3songsbonn.com)
Due to the pressure-packed influences currently coming to bear on your destiny, you have Official Cosmic Permission to fling three dishes against the wall. (But no more than three.) If you so choose, you also have clearance to hurl rocks in the direction of heaven, throw darts at photos of your nemeses, and cram a coconut cream pie into your own face. Please understand, however, that taking actions like these should be just the initial phase of your master plan for the week. In the next phase, you should capitalize on all the energy you’ve made available for yourself through purgative acts like the ones I mentioned. Capitalize how? For starters, you could dream and scheme about how you will liberate yourself from things that make you angry and frustrated.
Many life processes unfold outside of your conscious awareness: your body digesting your food and circulating your blood; trees using carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight to synthesize their nourishment; microorganisms in the soil beneath your feet endlessly toiling to create humus. You don’t perceive any of these things directly; they’re invisible to you. Tune in to this vitalizing alchemy. Use your X-ray vision and sub-sonic hearing and psychic smelling. See if you can absorb by osmosis some of the euphoria of the trees as they soak in the sunlight from above and water from below.
Rob has done it again! Tapped into my cosmic energy and found ways for me to deal with my frustrations. I like the concept of cramming a coconut cream pie into my own face, it sounds like yummy fun! Meditation my friend, that is my overall scheme for dealing with my angers and frustrations. I am on it!
- National Coconut Cream Pie Day TODAY! (immrfabulous.com)
It’s official: Dancing increases your intelligence. So says a report in the New England Journal of Medicine. Unfortunately, research found that swimming, bicycling, and playing golf are not at all effective in rewiring the brain’s neural pathways. Doing crossword puzzles is somewhat helpful, though, and so is reading books. But one of the single best things you can do to enhance your cognitive functioning is to move your body around in creative and coordinated rhythm with music. Lucky you: This is a phase of your astrological cycle when you’re likely to have more impulses and opportunities to dance. Take advantage! Get smarter.
Is Rob really telling me to dance?!? Does he not realize that I have two left feet and they are both going right? It’s so ironic, I can play music and keep a beat, but I can’t dance to save my life. Really, you ought to see it, it is something unnatural and un-synchronized. I used to love to dance when I was a little girl, did it all the time. I also was in gymnastics so I am not completely uncoordinated, I guess I just grew out of that whole I want to be a Solid Gold Dancer thing. I’ll leave the dancing to the “Dancing with the Stars” and in the mean time I think I will stick with crossword puzzles and reading books.
You may not have heard about the “forbidden colors.” And you certainly haven’t seen them, even though they exist. They’re reddish green and yellowish blue, which the cells of your retina are not built to register. However, scientists have figured out a trick by which these hues can be made visible. A few lucky people have actually caught a glimpse of them. I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because I suspect you are close to experiencing a metaphorical version of this breakthrough — seeing something that is supposedly impossible to see.
Boy do I ever need to have breakthrough, be it metaphorical or otherwise. This week has been a real struggle for me emotionally and I do apologize to my friends here at WordPress. Let me simply state this for the record. My Buddha blog is all about getting in touch with nature, my nature and the nature of those around me. As with most things in life you have to take the good with the bad. This week seems to be one of the bad ones. But, I do promise you and myself that it’s going to get better.
I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don’t know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world?
Become a rapturist, which is the opposite of a terrorist: Conspire to unleash blessings on unsuspecting recipients, causing them to feel good.
Before bringing your work as a rapturist to strangers, practice with two close companions. Offer them each a gift that fires up their ambitions. It should not be a practical necessity or consumer fetish, but rather a provocative tool or toy. Give them an imaginative boon they’ve been hesitant to ask for, a beautiful thing that expands their self-image, a surprising intervention that says, “I love the way you move me.”
I plan on taking Bob’s advice this week from my horoscope and writing a list of all the things I can think of that delight me, in this way the next time I get down about something I can look at my list and remind myself of the simple joys of life.
When rain falls on dry land, it activates certain compounds in the soil that release a distinctive aroma. “Petrichor” is the word for that smell. If you ever catch a whiff of it when there’s no rain, it’s because a downpour has begun somewhere nearby, and the wind is bringing you news of it. I suspect that you will soon be awash in a metaphorical version of petrichor, Aquarius. A parched area of your life is about to receive much-needed moisture.
Speak the following lines out loud:
I love everything about me
I love my uncanny beauty and my bewildering pain
I love my hungry soul and my wounded longing
I love my flaws, my fears, and my scary frontiers
I will never forsake, betray, or deceive myself
I will always adore, forgive, and believe in myself
I will never refuse, abandon, or scorn myself
I will always amuse, delight, and redeem myself
What do you think kids. does the shoe fit, and should I wear it?
Aquarius Horoscope for week of April 12, 2012
We all know that spiders are talented little creatures. Spiders’ silk is as strong as steel, and their precisely geometric webs are engineering marvels. But even though they have admirable qualities I admire, I don’t expect to have an intimate connection with a spider any time soon. A similar situation is at work in the human realm. I know certain people who are amazing creators and leaders but don’t have the personal integrity or relationship skills that would make them trustworthy enough to seek out as close allies. Their beauty is best appreciated from afar. Consider the possibility that the ideas I’m articulating here would be good for you to meditate on right now, Aquarius.
All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don’t know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative.
Whatever you choose to focus your attention on, you will get more of it. If you often think of everything you lack and how sad you are that you don’t have it, you will tend to receive prolific evidence of how true that is. As you obsess on all the ways your life is different from what you wish it would be, you will become an expert in rousing feelings of frustration and you will attract experiences that assist you in rousing frustration.
If, on the other hand, you dwell on the good things you have already had the privilege to experience, you will expand your appreciation for their blessings, which in turn will amplify their beneficent impact on your life. You will also magnetize yourself to receive further good things, making it more likely that they will be attracted into your sphere. At the very least, you will get in the habit of enjoying yourself no matter what the outward circumstances are.
Wow! Rob went on and on today in my horoscope! He just reminded me of how supportive my family and friends have been in my choice of sobriety. They have given me all the love and support that I could possibly ask for and it is helping me make smarter and better decisions, thank Buddha for my friends and family! I honestly don’t believe I could be this strong without them and I love them so much more for it. If you or someone you know is struggling with this same problem please remember that your support and love can make all the difference to them and whether they chose to live or throw their life away fruitlessly.
On Reddit.com, Kaushalp88 asked the question, “What is the most badass thing that you have ever done, but that other people weren’t impressed by?” Here’s his own story: “I was at an ice-cream shop. At the exit, there was a small raised step I didn’t see. I tripped over it with my ice cream cone in my right hand. The ice cream ball sprung out of the cone. I instinctively lurched my left hand forward and grabbed it, but at the same time I was already falling toward the pavement. I tucked my head into my chest and made a perfect somersault, rising to my feet and plopping the ice cream back in the cone.” I suspect you will soon have comparable experiences, Aquarius — unusual triumphs and unexpected accomplishments. But you may have to be content with provoking awe in no one else beside yourself.
For me, staying sober is one of the most badass things I have ever done. I can’t even begin to express how freakin cool it is to be present in my life. I’m experiencing things on such a different level and the clarity is so amazing. The trick that the guy did in my astrology this week with the ice cream cone was nothing compared to the feat I am accomplishing with each new day of sobriety and peace in my life. WOW, what a feeling! I don’t mean to keep bringing up my sobriety in my blogs, but after all my blog is all about me and I’m here to tell you that in my happiness I am feeling very much like the center of a well balanced and peaceful universe.
Last December a woman in Tulsa, Oklahoma made creative use of a Wal-Mart. She gathered various ingredients from around the shelves, including lighter fluid, lithium, and drain cleaner, and set up a meth lab right there in the back of the store. She’s your role model for the coming week, Aquarius. APRIL FOOL! I lied, kind of. The woman I mentioned got arrested for illegal activity, which I don’t advise you to do. But I do hope you will ascend to her levels of ingenuity and audacity as you gather all the resources you need for a novel experiment.
I guess Rob, the writer of Free Will Astrology, has decided to play an April Fool’s on my sobriety this week. All I could do when I read this was laugh. It’s so funny how he gets the nail on the head so frequently and this week he hit my sobriety nail on the head.