Category Archives: serenity

Reflecting….

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Reflecting….

I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. Tony Robbins 

It’s hard to believe that I started this blog almost a year ago. I started writing this blog on New Year’s Eve 2011 and as it almost dawns on New Year’s Eve 2012 I was thinking back at the amazing amount of changes that have occurred in our lives over the last year. When I started this blog Michael and I had just gotten back together after a forced separation due to legal circumstances. We almost broke up several times at the beginning of 2012 and, in fact, I almost left him and he almost left me more than once. We both struggled with bouts of alcoholism, me more than him. We went through the AA program together and are stronger for it. This last year I have hit some of my darkest nights and yet at other times I have seen some of my brightest days. In the last year we have lost “friends” to betrayal and back stabbing, we have lost musician friends, but at the end of the day our relationship has grown stronger through all the trials and tribulations. We have grown closer as friends and our love has grown deeper. We have managed to regain something through our music, that something special that has always been the glue that held us together.

During the last year I gained some of the lost time with my daughter and grown closer than ever to my mother. I have become a better rhythm guitar player and taught myself to sing in Welsh. I have learned more about myself as a musician in the last year than I have in 42 years of life. We have played some really fantastic gigs over the last year, and have many more to come. I moved up in the writing world from being an internet writer to writing for a real magazine and making my worth for the articles I write. My photography editing skills are getting better and better and I am continuing to work on my dream collage. I have no idea when, if ever that will be finished. It’s an ever evolving dream journal in images. 

I have seen friendships end and new friendships sprout. I have also seen friendships that I thought were dead in the water re-sprout with new life of forgiveness and understanding. With each dying flower a new one sprouts in its place, a more beautiful one I believe, richer in color and smell. At the end of the day, and almost year, life is very good. It is as hard as it ever was, but we are happy, and I know that come what may Michael and I will continue to grow together, to love together, and to perform together. Life is very good my friends!

With that I leave you with The Supremes and the beautiful Diana Ross…

Beautiful Karma Award

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Beautiful Karma Award

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched …but are felt in the heart.” - Helen Keller

I have been so busy the last few weeks and it’s been awhile since I have given out a Beautiful Karma Award so I thought I would take some time to acknowledge some of the bloggers that I feel convey beautiful karma in so many precious ways. I usually do one at a time, but with my schedule being what it is I am going to pick a few of my favorites. First up is Miss Bommie Bol,  she always has such positive insight, whether it be through her poetry, short stories or just quips about her family and daily life, she always has some positive nugget to share that reading her posts are a joy!

Next up is Bradley at You Jivin’ Me, Turkey?. I love this guy! He always posts the best music and I love his quotes from some of the most prolific figures in history! He’s an incredibly funny guy and you talk about a person who is so full of piss and vinegar you can’t help but laugh when he gets on a roll! To read him is to love him!

 Next up is Christine over at SOMETHINGVILLE. She is always putting out so much good, positive energy that I’m sure she is needing to duck from all the good karma boomerangs coming back at her. Duck Christine, here comes another one, LOL! :)

There so many here at WordPress that simply make my day with their writing, photos, songs and with their positive input to my blogs as well. Oh, I have one more to add to the list, I can’t forget Russel over at Russel Ray Photos. This man has been following my blog since pretty near the beginning and I love his photography. He’s one of the most positive people I know and it is conveyed through his photos and words. He’s very much a talented writer, photographer and friend and his wise old grandmother would be proud of him. Russel, thank you for camping out on my blog! You always leave the campsite so neat and clean!

Here’s your awards and song:

“The Dolphin’s Cry”-Live

The way you’re bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin’ left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you’re all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me

love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin’s cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it’s in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us

oh yeah, we meet again
it’s like we never left
time in between was just a dream
did we leave this place?
this crazy fog surrounds me
you wrap your legs around me
all I can do to try and breathe
let me breathe so that I
so we can go together!

love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin’s cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it’s in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us

life is like a shooting star
it don’t matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it’s just a waste of time
we are lost ’til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over

How I Feel….

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How I Feel….

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou 

My spirits are incredibly high. I have had some very good karmic payback over the last couple of weeks. The new band is going so well, and Mike and I have waited for a band like this to come along for so long. We have both been in bands together through the years but never quite this good. EZ Street is picking up gigs faster than any of us could have anticipated and for the band this is absolutely a testament to the chemistry we have as a band. We all have our financial worries, many of us have no full time jobs and these gigs are going to make the difference in whether we have gas or not, so this is a great thing for us all. If only we were independently wealthy. Fortunately I got my new position freelance writing for The Travel Council Magazine which will take some of the pressure off of Mike, not all of it, but some. These gigs are really going to help us out financially. I am happy and content, busy but happy. It didn’t even phase me this week when I was trying to get a promoter to help us get some of these bigger events and he was short with me and very rude. He treated me like crap and if he were to approach me tomorrow and say he wants to help us out I would basically tell him to get bent! The sad thing of it is is that I know this band is that good and he just screwed up and closed any door with us that he might have hoped to have in the future. To make matters worse the guy works with my producer in another local band. It’s sad that people have to pull that holier than thou, my poo doesn’t stink attitude. C’est la vie my friend, you just burned that bridge by your very attitude. It’s ok because I know that I am a strong enough person and have enough where-with-all that I can do it myself, I was just trying to take some of the pressure off of myself, but I will just keep on keeping on. :)

On that note I leave you with one of my favorite all time happy-happy, joy-joy songs by Jimmy Cliff, enjoy :)

All I Wanna Do…

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All I Wanna Do…

I found this image and quote quite funny! My days have taken on quite a dramatic turn. I get up in the morning, make my coffee and spend the next 5-6 hours working on band business. You wouldn’t believe how much there is. I respond to every Facebook response we have as a band and personally, I work on working lists for rehearsals and set lists for gigs and the list goes on. I love it and I am really doing what it is I love to do. I have found myself surrounded by some of the best musicians this valley has to offer and I am a very lucky woman indeed.  On that note I will leave you with Sheryl Crowe

Smooth!

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Smooth!

There’s an inherent thing in me where, if things are going too smooth, I’ll sabotage the hell out of them, just to make the music more of a sanctuary. Daniel Johns 

When things are going well it kind of intimidates me because it seems I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. LOL. I know I should stop being a pessimist and cynical, but I think as humans we are all like this. Things in my life are going so smoothly that even a little bump in the road this week, a backstabbing by a so-called friend, didn’t even phase me. What is wrong with me?! The music is flowing well, by vocals are building back up to the level of playing with a full band again, and I am happy. We are all healthy and I really haven’t one single complaint. Money is tight, as always, but this is nothing new. So life is good. I will take the smooth road, thank you very much and could I have a large side of fries with that? :D

Tuning in with Nature

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Tuning in with Nature

“It is in your power to withdraw yourself whenever you desire. Perfect tranquility within consists in the good ordering of the mind,– the realm of your own.” ― Marcus Aurelius

We took some time out of our crazy rehearsal schedule today to take a bike ride along the river and the pond and I thought I would share some of the pics I took with you. It was so peaceful and quiet, we rode along at a relaxed pace and just enjoyed the scenery.

Fall Leaves

Mr. Dragonfly

Boise River

Duckys

Mike in the Tree

Them Are Duckys on the Left

Caldwell Pond

Got My Mojo Working!

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Got My Mojo Working!

Mr. Mojo Risin’, Mr. Mojo Risin’ , Got to keep on risin’ ~Jim Morrison

I finally got my Mojo in sync with the balance of the universe. Things have chilled out and gelled as I said they would. I finally have some time to catch up on the things I have been missing the last few months, good grief I even had time to create a new blog called EZ Street A Day in the Life. What is wrong with me, LOL. Life is very good. I am having the time of my life getting in touch with my musical nature and meeting some very cool cats along the way. Of course there is always the good with the bad, life wouldn’t be balanced without bad vs good, but overall I am a lucky woman indeed. I have a husband who loves me and I am surrounded and blessed with some of the most supportive and loving friends a person could chose to have, including my wonderful blogging buddies here at WordPress. The other great thing that happened recently was that I thought my camera was hopelessly broken and it turns out that it just happens to be very picky about your choice of batteries, so very soon I will be posting more pics. Well enough joy and flowers today, it’s time to get to work…..Much peace and love my friends and if you have time stop by my new blog and say hello. I love hearing from you!

Falling Down

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Falling Down

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius

Ok let’s just get this out of the way right now. I fell off the wagon. Don’t ask me to explain how or why it happened, because I honestly don’t know. Am I blaming some one or some thing, hell no! I did this all alone. However, the cool thing is I have my program and all my friends rallied around me to brush off the dust and apply ointment to the skid marks. I am still loved. It’s great to be an alcoholic because I have a village of Indians that stopped to see what fell off the wagon and rallied together to see what they could do with it….Yes, I can laugh because I may have fallen but I am not down for the count. I am loved and for today I am happy and sober.

Happy Birthday 2 Me!

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Happy Birthday 2 Me!

Yeah, I know I drink a lot, I know I do because I’m a writer and that’s what I do, I drink. I’m not like those people out there, I can control myself! I can, if – that – if I wanted to, I could, if I wanted. I can! I can!~Gwen Cummings, “28 Days

I had almost, not quite, but almost forgotten that it was my 60 days. 2 months, sobriety birthday yresterday. I almost forgot because I have been too busy being sober. I know that may sound crazy, but it’s really not. What is crazy is the amount of years, months, days, minutes and seconds I wasted of my life drinking into a dark hole. I can’t believe how busy my life has become since I put the bottle away for good. My music has taken a precedence in my life, I’m accomplishing more than I ever could have believed was possible. One night of my life a week is dedicated to “sober” night. It’s an open jam that I host on Tuesday nights at a coffee house and we get a huge turn out from my friends in AA and it gets bigger and better every week. We are getting more bookings than ever and now, by the grace of my sobriety we are booked to play at “John Doe’s” for a two hour acoustic gig in mid September. After that we have the Indian Creek Festival. I also have the distinct honor of representing my family and our Welsh heritage at the Scottish festival, where all the Celtic nations are represented. My grandparents would be so incredibly proud. I owe all of this to my persistence in remaining sober, the love and support of my beautiful husband and my wonderful family. Thank goodness I am a stubborn person. The very quality that makes me an obstinate person is also the same quality that saved my life. For that I am grateful! 

 

 

The Open Jam

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The Open Jam

“When things go wrong, you’ll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better.” C.S. Lewis

We had our usual Tuesday night jam last night and it was by far the best since we have started doing this. We are fortunate to have a family that opened a great little eclectic coffee shop called “The Bird Stop” in our town and he is so supportive of the local music scene and local musicians. We had a great turn out of people that just came to listen and many who came to play. All of the musicians are “floating”, in other words they are bands that are almost formed, just missing a player or two. I had a couple of girls get up on stage with me, girls that were afraid and had never been on stage before and both did a great job. Kym got up and played “Unchain My Heart” on the harp and Rachel got up and sang “Dreams” with me. It takes a lot to get up on stage if your not used to it, hell it takes a lot even if you are used to it. The crowd was warm and receptive and they all know this is a jam, so things go wrong and the music isn’t perfectly tight, nevertheless, they show their appreciation with their hearts and love. What more could a musician ask for?

My Week in Pictures

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My Week in Pictures

What an amazing week this has been! As some of you may know this is the week we celebrated our wedding anniversary. Yesterday we all got together at Memorial Park and had a sausage dog roast with all the kitchen sink fixings. We got a couple of really great cards! 

Michael is so very sweet and loving, He got me this card and these beautiful roses for our anniversary:

We were fortunate enough to have a great bunch of people join us for our celebration:

I got some really great and unexpected gifts! I got this new/used camera that took all these wonderful pictures, and I got my old guitar back, the story of the Cosmic Boomerang Guitar explains it all.

All in all it has been a wonderful week to say the least!

Tis the Day!

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Tis the Day!

“Knowing you will be with me in all my tomorrows, makes my today so wonderful.”

Today is the day! It is our 8 year wedding anniversary and all the preparations are made. I spent the day yesterday slicing and dicing, cooking and cleaning. I so want everything to be perfect, just for today. We are having a sausage dog roast at the park near our house and spending it with the people near and dear to us, many of whom we just met in the recent months of our journey to sobriety. I love these people because of the unconditional love and joy they share in their own sobriety that helps me and mine stay sober day by day. That, in and of itself, makes today a very special day. Among other things Michael has achieved 15 months of sobriety and Thursday I will have achieved 2 months of sobriety! So, there is a lot to be celebrated and enjoyed! Yesterday Michael brought me roses of my favorite color for roses, yellow. He always manages to find these roses that are unique, they have reddish pink tips and are so beautiful and smell simply delicious. What a wonderful day this is going to be, what a gift to be sober and with the person I love most in this world!

I’d Like a Cup of Relaxation Please With a Side of Over Easy Day

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I’d Like a Cup of Relaxation Please With a Side of Over Easy Day

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.  ~Ovid

I am taking a day off from riding bike. This week I have logged 45 miles and lost about a pound. I can live with it. It has been a productive week and happy for the most part. I really have no complaints. I am adding more songs to my set list today and have the goal of producing another video for YouTube today, doing some artwork, rehearsing,  reading a few chapters of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” and doing some housework. Believe it or not this is my idea of relaxing…LOL. I have a day of peace and relaxation planned, nothing more, nothing less!

It Is What It Is!

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It Is What It Is!

Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens. 

I found that the biggest part of my enjoyment and serenity yesterday cam from my sheer and open lack of expectations for what the day may bring. We played a gig last night with a drummer and bass player that we had never played with before and it went really great! It was as if we had always played together. The people who came to see us had a great time, as did I. Who could ask for more?!

Gifts For the Birdies and the Squirrels

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Gifts For the Birdies and the Squirrels

“Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.”~Buddha

I have so many things that could upset me today, so many things that I could try and control today, so many things that could upset the balance of my universe. I refuse. I refuse to allow outside disturbances to put me on a path that does not lead to peace. Peace of mind and peace of heart. Pure peace and that alone shall stand. Yesterday my sunflowers needed to be cut down, they had been attacked by earwigs and were sickly looking. Yet, even though they looked sick, upon closer inspection I could see that they still bore the fruits of their labors. They were loaded with sunflower seeds. So, in apology for their early demise, I cut them down and offered the sunflower heads to the birdies and the squirrels. After all they might as well give their fruits back to nature. Much like life, some thing or some one may look sickly on the outside, however; if you look deep enough you can find the seeds of good offering themselves up for sharing and giving back in a spirit of peace and good will. 

My Sunflower Heads

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body and Mind

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Body and Mind

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr 

Ok, so here’s the deal. Now that I have changed my mind’s perspective it is time to go after the body. Since I am no longer drinking my calories and I am eating normally instead of going days without eating, choosing to drink instead, I am starting to put on some weight. So, now that I have the mind in line it’s time to start taking care of the positive effects of what is happening to my body. My family has this terrible problem with obesity and my body image has always been of huge concern to me. My mother is pushing 275#’s and my grandmother weighed just about that when she passed. Excuse my vanity Buddha, but I like looking good and I don’t like little pockets of fat sticking out all over my body. I made a command decision yesterday that I would take a 1-2 hour bike ride every morning. So this is it…day 1 of the beginning of a new path for me…the path of caring for the positive effects happening to my mind as well as my body. Wish me luck!

My Serenity…

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My Serenity…

The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity but the achievement of serenity within and above it. Reinhold Niebuhr

 This is my drawing of my place of serenity. On Sunday when I met with my sponge (sponsor) Jules for the first time this is where I went when I was having such a hard day the night before. Saturday was filled with triggers and hurt and I needed a place to go to work through my thoughts and get back in balance with nature and myself. Meeting with Jules was such a blessing, everything just melted away from me. I call her a sponge because I am her spongee and I plan on sucking everything I can out of her, and she is full of all kinds of great wisdom for sobriety. I have so much to be grateful for and in the last month I have begun to see the things and people that were there before me, just waiting for me to open up my eyes and see. They were always there with open arms, all I had to do was be willing to walk into the embrace. It’s amazing how alcohol clouds your vision, blurs your mind and makes you numb. In the beginning isn’t that what all alcoholics seek, blindness and a numbing and dulling of the senses? We don’t want to see, we don’t want to feel. You just don’t realize until you quit, and I mean really quit, how much you have missed.