Category Archives: Time

Reflecting….

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Reflecting….

I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. Tony Robbins 

It’s hard to believe that I started this blog almost a year ago. I started writing this blog on New Year’s Eve 2011 and as it almost dawns on New Year’s Eve 2012 I was thinking back at the amazing amount of changes that have occurred in our lives over the last year. When I started this blog Michael and I had just gotten back together after a forced separation due to legal circumstances. We almost broke up several times at the beginning of 2012 and, in fact, I almost left him and he almost left me more than once. We both struggled with bouts of alcoholism, me more than him. We went through the AA program together and are stronger for it. This last year I have hit some of my darkest nights and yet at other times I have seen some of my brightest days. In the last year we have lost “friends” to betrayal and back stabbing, we have lost musician friends, but at the end of the day our relationship has grown stronger through all the trials and tribulations. We have grown closer as friends and our love has grown deeper. We have managed to regain something through our music, that something special that has always been the glue that held us together.

During the last year I gained some of the lost time with my daughter and grown closer than ever to my mother. I have become a better rhythm guitar player and taught myself to sing in Welsh. I have learned more about myself as a musician in the last year than I have in 42 years of life. We have played some really fantastic gigs over the last year, and have many more to come. I moved up in the writing world from being an internet writer to writing for a real magazine and making my worth for the articles I write. My photography editing skills are getting better and better and I am continuing to work on my dream collage. I have no idea when, if ever that will be finished. It’s an ever evolving dream journal in images. 

I have seen friendships end and new friendships sprout. I have also seen friendships that I thought were dead in the water re-sprout with new life of forgiveness and understanding. With each dying flower a new one sprouts in its place, a more beautiful one I believe, richer in color and smell. At the end of the day, and almost year, life is very good. It is as hard as it ever was, but we are happy, and I know that come what may Michael and I will continue to grow together, to love together, and to perform together. Life is very good my friends!

With that I leave you with The Supremes and the beautiful Diana Ross…

I’m Back, For Now….LOL

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I’m Back, For Now….LOL

Absence of proof is not proof of absence. William Cowper 

Hello all! I know I have been absent the last few weeks. I have had an absolutely insane rehearsal schedule getting ready for these big festivals. One down and one more to go on the 29th and then my schedule will mellow out. I hope! I have missed reading everyone’s blogs, it’s like missing my morning paper and cup of coffee. I hope this blog finds everyone healthy and happy. I have been so busy that I didn’t even notice the You Jivin Me, Turkey? had re-blogged my song “Of This Land”. Thank you so much for that, I am really glad you liked it enough to re-blog it, you’re the bomb baby! I had a few minutes today between rehearsals to post and let everyone know what I am up to. After a very hard 2 month song search I have finally come up with 15 songs for the Celtic Festival. They are going to be a mix of songs from folk Welsh songs to songs by Welsh musicians that are well known in America. I am excited about the song choice and the festival, but let me tell you, learning to sing in Welsh is no easy task! I have missed you all and will try to catch up on some of your blogs today….Peace, as always my friends, Jaz

 

 

No time

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No time

Dost thou love life, then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of. * Benjamin Franklin

This last week I have had no time at all to spend with my wonderful friends here at WP, I have had no time for music, no time for my artwork, no time for writing in my journal, no time at all. The reason for this lack of time is because I have been working the Idaho State Fair. It is but one brief week out of my life and I am loving it, making very good money, meeting some interesting people along the way and having a lot of fun. I miss not having the time to work on some very important other things in my life, but once this week is over it’s back to business as usual. With some of the money I made I bought myself a couple of beautiful new sun dresses. The thing I am missing the most is time with my husband. I haven’t had time to cook dinner or eat dinner with him, which is time that has always been ear marked as time set aside each day that we spend together. I know, just a couple of weeks ago I was saying that I was glad he was back to work, that we needed some time away from each other because we were together 24/7. Now I am at the other end of the spectrum of absolutely zero time together. You know what they say, be careful what you wish for and all that. It’s a good week, but I will be really glad when this week is over and I can get back to normal, whatever “normal” is. 

 

My Week in Pictures

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My Week in Pictures

What an amazing week this has been! As some of you may know this is the week we celebrated our wedding anniversary. Yesterday we all got together at Memorial Park and had a sausage dog roast with all the kitchen sink fixings. We got a couple of really great cards! 

Michael is so very sweet and loving, He got me this card and these beautiful roses for our anniversary:

We were fortunate enough to have a great bunch of people join us for our celebration:

I got some really great and unexpected gifts! I got this new/used camera that took all these wonderful pictures, and I got my old guitar back, the story of the Cosmic Boomerang Guitar explains it all.

All in all it has been a wonderful week to say the least!

I’d Like a Cup of Relaxation Please With a Side of Over Easy Day

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I’d Like a Cup of Relaxation Please With a Side of Over Easy Day

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.  ~Ovid

I am taking a day off from riding bike. This week I have logged 45 miles and lost about a pound. I can live with it. It has been a productive week and happy for the most part. I really have no complaints. I am adding more songs to my set list today and have the goal of producing another video for YouTube today, doing some artwork, rehearsing,  reading a few chapters of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” and doing some housework. Believe it or not this is my idea of relaxing…LOL. I have a day of peace and relaxation planned, nothing more, nothing less!

At the Speed of Sound

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At the Speed of Sound

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. David Herbert Lawrence

Oh hell! Things are picking up so fast for us musically, it seems that every day we are adding new songs to the set list. Lately we are meeting and increasing the community of musicians we speak with. Gigs have been weekly and sometimes twice weekly. This insanity, coupled with my Buddhist studies, sobriety work and a 100 miscellaneous other things. We have a very heavy schedule and my poor house is not getting cleaned like it normally does. Mind you, it may sound like I’m whining but I’m not. I think I am simply amazed at how insanely busy things have gotten. I still manage to get to my studies every day, I write in my journal everyday, find time to read ppls blogs and blog myself. And I even found time to complete a sketch this week!

 So all in all life is good. I still have my moments where I feel a lot of pressure, and frankly my sleep schedule is completely messed up, ciest la vie!

Hey Dummy, Why’d You Wait So Long?

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Hey Dummy, Why’d You Wait So Long?

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”  – Charles Caleb Colton

Ok, I admit it. I am a dummy. One of my best friends, Gracie, has been on my mind and I have been meaning to go see her. For goodness sake we live in the same town, she’s only 13 blocks away. What is my problem? Well you know the song and dance, we get busy and wrapped up in our own lives. I’ll be the first to admit that since my daughter has been living with me my list of things to do has doubled. This isn’t only due to her presence here, but also due to the fact that, like most people, summertime is always a busy time with BBQ’s, summer activities and etc. For us, being musicians, we have tons of summer concerts we play and there is always rehearsal time and we are always on the go. So you know what I did? I blew it. Gracie is now in the hospital, she had a stroke and a heart attack and I didn’t get to see her until last night. I didn’t even know you could have both a stroke and a heart attack. What is wrong with me? She is looking so pallid, but she’s talking. She wasn’t mad at me for not coming before, but I know she had to be disappointed, as I was, that we are seeing each other under these circumstances. SHe is my daughter’s God Mother and I should have made an effort to go see her sooner. Yes, I am a dummy!

Everything is Coming Our Way

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Everything is Coming Our Way

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas AdamsThe Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

The last two weeks have been a trip! I can’t believe how much things can turn around, and how quickly. I feel like, even through my failures, I have ended up exactly where I am supposed to be. I got some very hard news yesterday, which two weeks ago would have dropped me to my knees. I was able to take the news really much better than even I could have expected. I couldn’t believe how calm and rational I was. Where is Jaz and what did you do with her mind? At any rate, I’m glad to be here and life is good. Frankly, for the first time in a long time I am not just along for the ride, I am actually driving and I have to tell you it feels spectacular! 

 

Midnight Ride

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Midnight Ride

When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking. ~Arthur Conan Doyle

The last two weeks has been such an incredibly fruitful time, but I have hardly taken time out of my work schedule to take care of myself or spend time with other people. Yesterday was a day of work from the time I arose until I finally quit around 11 pm last night. The day had been intensely hot and when I finished up with the last song of the night I decided to go for a little midnight bike ride. Oh it was so cool and refreshing! We went down to the river and rode the green belt. The moon was showing part of it’s pretty face, the air was sweet and refreshing and all the cares of the day dropped away as if they had never been there. I didn’t even mind getting stopped by the bicycle police for not having a headlight on my bike! The joy of a bike ride can be such a release after a day of intense work. If you don’t believe me you should try it sometime.

Summer Madness

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Summer Madness

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it’s just that it can’t buzz any slower. Kin Hubbard

I can’t believe how crazy, busy my life has been just in the last two weeks since the weather improved, and it’s not just the weather that is making my life crazy. For the last two weeks solid I have done nothing but spend 8 hours a day on the guitar. Now this may not seem like much to some guitar players, but for me, a lead vocalist by trade, it is a lot! It is paying off. I am doing some things I never thought I would ever be able to do on the guitar. My fingers hurt like hell and I have these fabulous callouses on the tips of the fingers of my right hand that are my badge of honor now, but it is paying off. Of course this isn’t the only thing making my life crazy. My garden is doing well. but it is a labor of love that I am really enjoying. Water every other day, weed twice a week and love, love, love. It’s paying off as well. My life is happy. I blame this bliss on sobriety. I can guarantee you that during the last 10 years I have lost more than my share of time and productivity to being on my face. I think of all the time I threw away drinking and I could just kick myself. If you have been there you know what I am talking about. Fortunately I am sober and finally starting to achieve some of the things that I should have done a long time ago. It’s sad that I could allow addiction to eat up so much of my life, but for me now everyday is a blessing and for everyday I remain sober that blessing is two fold! It may not seem like much, and maybe it isn’t but I will take it!

I Need to Buy a Moment, Please?

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I Need to Buy a Moment, Please?

Run rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun
And when at last the work is down
Don’t sit down, it’s time to dig another one

Pink Floyd-“Breathe

Up until Saturday everything was relatively under control. I spent all morning and afternoon working on my gardens. Pulling weeds, sending encouragement and love to the newly planted seeds and vegetables. Rosie decided to help, but her idea of help is what it is, not very useful…see for yourself.

 

At the end of the day it’s all good, I got my gardening done and she got her nappy-poo. Well, then it was time to get ready for dinner and a night out with my BF Boo. We hadn’t really sat down and talked in like 3 years because he lives 3 hours away and we had a lot of ground to cover. Boo and Nick, his younger brother, took me out for pool and we had a blast, but a very late night. Since Monday my week is already picking up speed like a runaway freight train. I have had no time to write until today, I have to go pick up my mountain bike which has been in the shop over a week, I have to get ready for my daughter’s graduation for which I have the fun of spending several hours on the drive from the Boise area to ISU in Pocatello and back again, thank Buddha for my Kindle. I have this insane list of things that I need to do before leaving at 5 am Thursday morning and I am already exhausted LOL. Now, my darling mother has informed me that she wants to put the car in the shop between now and Wednesday, and I am thinking, “That’s fabulous, but where on Earth do I squeeze the car into the few minutes of sanity I have left?”  

I will manage, I always do, and guess what, everything on my ever increasing list most likely will not get done. Ciest la vie. I am only one person. Can someone sell me an extra day? 

Relax!

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Relax!

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.  ~Bill Watterson,Calvin and Hobbes

We went out to the lake yesterday. It was a beautiful day and I was feeling rather tense and down. I am not really sure why. My life is good, I just gained another level in my writing credentials, I went up from a  level 3 writer to a level 4 on Knoji after about 2 years, I am accomplishing more than ever since maintaining my sobriety and most of my sanity. I just couldn’t seem to get my head out of “that” place. My daughter had a great time, and I think that’s all that really matters. She took a bunch of very cool pictures I thought I would share with you. She is such an artistic little soul and it shows in her photos.

I hate having my photo taken and of course she had to take this one while I was reading

I took this one of her

I had to include this Eagles video…peace everyone!

Crazy Dayz

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Crazy Dayz

Always gotta keep busy or the voices start telling me to do wild things. Steve Brown

This has been a very busy and creative week for me and Kira. We completed 10 of the light switch covers, I finished a new sketch and finished writing a new song with Michael. Unbelievable, even to myself, I managed to finish planting my entire garden and managed to read 3 books. Yes, I finished that damn civil war book, read a biography of Harriett Tubman and read another autobiography about the true story of a slave girl that finally managed to escape from her oppressors. I have now started reading another book about the war in the west during the civil war era. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but this last week has been one of my most productive in months and I’m loving every minute of it.

Here is the sketch called “Masquerade” drawn from a photo I saw on a blog:

 

 And here are some pics of the light switch covers we painted:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Needless to say it has been a busy, busy week and here’s how Kira looked after all was done and said:

And Everything is Right with the World

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And Everything is Right with the World

As long as your intention is pure, and you know what you’re in it for, then you’re alright. And I’m in it because I enjoy it. I take it seriously… real seriously. I mean I could sit and talk all day about the music. Trey Anastasio

What a crazy weekend! I had visions of getting some music finished, reading the rest of this civil war book I have been on for a week now, doing some artwork and working on my garden. Oh, I did get somethings accomplished. One new song learned and one on the table, I’m 1/2 way through that damn book, that I am enjoying BTW, and I planted my sunflowers. Hey, that’s pretty good. I shouldn’t complain, after all we went and got my daughter her futon couch/bed that she wanted and managed to build her a closet complete with shelves. Hey man, I’m not complaining, everything is right with the world. my daughter finally feels like she has her place here and screw that civil war novel. I can finish that anytime. Everything is right with the world!

Time!

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Time!

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain. You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. Pink Floyd

I have been doing some reminiscing the past week and have come to realize a few things. Why is it that men age so much more gracefully than women? Just past 42 and I see the lines in my face of time, the scars in my face of the past and I still see a pretty face, just a different one. I find that I use more makeup now than I ever have in my life except when going out for a special night. Trying my best to disguise the lines, trying to cover the scars. I have also been reminiscing about the time I used to spend reading. When I was a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to curl up with a book and read for hours and hours. I would take whatever book I was currently reading into the bath with me and read. Many of my books had curled pages from the steam of the bath. I used to read anywhere from 2-3 books a week, now I find that I can barely get in 1-2 books a year. I think a lot of this is due to the fact that I am reading on a Kindle now instead of holding the real book in my hands. Somehow, holding a book in your hands, feeling the pages turn beneath your fingers, all of the things about reading from a book are so personal. Now, with my Kindle, it feels cold and impersonal and I almost wish I had my real books back. Kind of like I wish I had my other face back. Ah, but for the movement of time. We  all wish we could have more and yet I have realized there isn’t anymore. What I am allotted is what I have and I need to take full advantage of it. Yes, my face is going to change. Yes, my body is going to falter, but hell that’s life. I’m just having trouble adjusting to my “new” older face,  just as I am having trouble adjusting to a book without pages. Guess I’ll just have to deal with it and learn to adjust. Sure wish I had that mirror that the evil step-mother had…..Just kidding!