When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.

It has been a very intense week of rehearsals and we still have 4 more days of heavy rehearsals. Maybe I am exhausted, maybe I’m being oversensitive, I don’t know, but my daughter informed me today that when I picked her up after graduation her dad, my ex-husband, was bashing me. He was saying a bunch of negative stuff about me in front of his alcoholic wife and my daughter. Kira informed me that he was just trying to make his current wife feel better about herself. He was saying to whoever would listen that I didn’t look like the same person he had married in a negative way. Well of course I don’t, when he married me I was 24. I left him when I was 28 and now I am 42. Of course I’ve aged! What did he expect to happen, that I would dump myself in a bottle of vinegar and preserve myself. What is it about people that makes therm feel the need to negatively criticize people to make them selves or someone else feel better. I hate to inform him of this but his criticizing me in front of his wife is not going to raise her self esteem enough to get her out of the bottle. That is not how recovery works. In fact, from experience, I can tell you that a person in recovery such as myself needs positive input. I don’t know what purpose he was hoping to achieve but I have a feeling it is going to backfire on him. I may be older but I know that I am still a very attractive woman and what he has to say really shouldn’t affect me, right? In some strange way it does. I don’t really understand it, maybe I am just tired today.

10 responses »

  1. Don’t exactly know what a ‘jack wagon’ is however; my lovely, I’m sure that it means something along the lines that he is somewhat of a fool. To that I say “here, here”…
    Sounds like you ‘know’ that (he behaves like a fool) however; you haven’t quite ‘accepted’ it…!!!
    Once you accept that he behaves like a fool – and only a fool would do as he’s doing – then you won’t be surprised by anything that he may do. In fact, my sweet lovely; you will ‘expect’ him to act in foolish ways and ‘not be surprised’ or ‘hurt’ by anything that he may do….. 😉

  2. You know what? Me and you have communicated basically through different “likes” 🙂

    I don’t know you that well, I mean…Yet…My gut feeling says that you are a nice, vivid, inventive and creative person. It would be nice to talk to you more about essential life matters.


  3. Of course, there is a reason why many people term this verbal or emotional ABUSE. Because it is bloody abusive. And beyond justification of any kind. … And in front of your daughter!?!? I have no patience for that. At all!

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