Monthly Archives: June 2012

Iron Maiden Rules the World

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Iron Maiden Rules the World

I’ve banged my head quite a bit. I liked Iron Maiden, Ozzy, AC/DC. And of course, Ratt and Poison. 
Cameron Diaz 

My first concert was Iron Maiden. I was 16 and my mom let a friend from the Navy take me to the concert. It was the weirdest experience in my life. I was in Salt Lake City and VERY young. Imagine the speakers, I think I was deaf for 2 days afterwards. When I left the concert I ran into my cousin Dodi, what are the odds. It must have been fate. That concert was INSANE. On that note here is another Iron Maiden for your listening pleasure.

My Trainer

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Nae's Nest

One day, will you allow me to lean on you?

To take  slow, short walks into the sunsets

While I lean heavily on you?

One day, will you help me to regain my strength?

To do slow, tedious exercises

Designed for range and length?

One day, will you join me in a heated pool

To help me work out and maybe play a game?

And to warm me, if I get too cool?

One day, will you join me in a hot tub?

To soothe my aching muscles

Workout any knots, as you rub?

This is much more than a goal

It represents life!

To touch, to feel, to see, to hear

To laugh, to sing, to love and to care

To hold you, to say I love you

With you, my trainer

We make plans for the future

It means we kicked the ass

Of a life-sucking intruder

It…

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Failure By Any Other Name Is Still Failure

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Failure By Any Other Name Is Still Failure

Aquarius Horoscope for week of June 14, 2012

Verticle Oracle cardAquarius (January 20-February 19)
Have you ever tried to drink from a fire hose? The sheer amount and force of the water shooting out the end makes it hard to actually get any moisture in your mouth, let alone enjoy the process. On the other hand, it is kind of entertaining, and it does provide a lot of material to tell funny stories about later on. But are those good enough reasons to go ahead and do it? I say no. That’s why I advise you, metaphorically speaking, to draw your sustenance from a more contained flow in the coming week. Cultivate a relationship with a resource that gives you what you really need. 

That is exactly how I felt yesterday. I let all the stress get to me and I blew it. I did the best I could, but frankly I was scared. I tried to have fun and just go with the flow but I couldn’t relax at all. I literally froze. I couldn’t seem to get into my groove and what’s worse is I feel bad for Kira. There were good moments yesterday, but there were more bad than good. I don’t think I want to go there again. I kept trying to tell everyone that I wasn’t ready, it seemed like no one was listening to me. Well, now we know.

Bringing on the Heartbreak

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Bringing on the Heartbreak

“Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girls mouth!” 
― Gemma HallidayDeadly Cool

Kira and I have been insanely busy getting ready for our gig on Wednesday, she has been stressed out because of the rehearsal time involved. Now, to add to her stress, she just found a bunch of nude pics of a girl that lives 2 doors down from her boyfriend. If that’s not bad enough, this girl and Kira’s boyfriend have been exchanging sexual text messages. She came home crying and I held her. I don’t know how to tell her that 18 year old boys do really stupid things. I didn’t know how to tell her that 18 year old boys think with their little head. I didn’t know how to take away her hurt. It made me cry, like the first time she got her inoculations, or the first time she scraped her knee. But this, this is far worse because her pain is inside and I don’t have a band-aid for that and it hurts me inside that I can’t help her. All I can do is give her words and support her. I told her to dump the ass clown immediately, problem is, she’s in love with him. We know, as adults, how quickly and easily we forgive when we love someone really deep. All I can do now, as a mother, is support her and try to keep her busy so she doesn’t sit and dwell on the fact that this boy, that I liked so well, is not worthy of her love.

Spite

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Spite

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.

It has been a very intense week of rehearsals and we still have 4 more days of heavy rehearsals. Maybe I am exhausted, maybe I’m being oversensitive, I don’t know, but my daughter informed me today that when I picked her up after graduation her dad, my ex-husband, was bashing me. He was saying a bunch of negative stuff about me in front of his alcoholic wife and my daughter. Kira informed me that he was just trying to make his current wife feel better about herself. He was saying to whoever would listen that I didn’t look like the same person he had married in a negative way. Well of course I don’t, when he married me I was 24. I left him when I was 28 and now I am 42. Of course I’ve aged! What did he expect to happen, that I would dump myself in a bottle of vinegar and preserve myself. What is it about people that makes therm feel the need to negatively criticize people to make them selves or someone else feel better. I hate to inform him of this but his criticizing me in front of his wife is not going to raise her self esteem enough to get her out of the bottle. That is not how recovery works. In fact, from experience, I can tell you that a person in recovery such as myself needs positive input. I don’t know what purpose he was hoping to achieve but I have a feeling it is going to backfire on him. I may be older but I know that I am still a very attractive woman and what he has to say really shouldn’t affect me, right? In some strange way it does. I don’t really understand it, maybe I am just tired today.

Getting It!

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Getting It!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. Carl Jung

Kira is finally beginning to get it. We have been in rehearsals and last night was the first night we had gone all the way through 1/2 our set list. I don’t think my daughter realized how much work is involved in playing music live. She was totally unprepared for the amount of time we have to spend in rehearsals, the amount of time involved in learning new songs and new chords and chord progressions. I don’t think she was aware of the dedication you have to have to play in front of a group of people that you have never seen before and that has never seen you. She’s finally beginning to understand why you have to spend so much time perfecting songs so that you don’t go on stage and blow it. I think she’s finally beginning to understand why we go over the same song 10, 20, 30 times, whatever it takes until you know the song better than you know yourself, until it becomes a part of you, ingrained in you. When I told her last night that we had 5 songs left she sighed, but before she knew it we had gone through all 5 songs and we were done. She couldn’t believe how fast it had gone. I think she finally realized why we have to learn so many songs, because it takes a lot of material to cover 3 hours worth of music. Especially when you are only two people with guitars. She’s moving at an amazing rate, I just wish I could have gotten her dedication and attention sooner, she’d be a lot further along, but I think we’re going to be ok. This is her first live performance, ever, and I am so happy to be the one to experience it with her!

Dreaming

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Dreaming

Free Will Astrology for Aquarius For June 6-12

 An article in the Weekly World News reported on tourists who toast marshmallows while sitting on the rims    of active volcanoes. As fun as this practice might be, however, it can expose those who do it to molten lava, suffocating ash, and showers of burning rocks. So, I wouldn’t recommend it to you, Aquarius. But I do encourage you to try some equally boisterous but less hazardous adventures. The coming months will be prime time for you to get highly imaginative in your approach to exploration, amusement and pushing beyond your previous limits. Why not get started now?

So, I suppose dancing on an electrified tightrope with wet ballet slippers is out of the question? Well, ok, being serious now. It’s ironic that Rob should bring this up because just this week I have started on a dream collage. I have been having some very bizarre dreams this last week and when I wake I commit them to my journal. I have then started sketching in the details of the dreams on a large painting. I have begun sketching in the ones that are most vivid and strange and I am going to continue with adding in magazine and newspaper cutouts, written word and other things that seem to stick out. This is my first collage, and my first exploration into an understanding of my dream world. 

A Higher Level of Musical Existentialism

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A Higher Level of Musical Existentialism

You know what’s with jazz? It’s basic, like the most. A lot of cats, musicians, get with it up to a point, but they never really dig it, understand….Crazy, because understand doesn’t cover it. Dig is the only way I know how to say it. There’s more of it up here, Lodi digs, I think I do. Swift had a style, technique, but he wasn’t creative. He could never dig the original sounds. That’s why he stole them….Sounds, music, riffs. Maybe a guys got a right to pick a pocket or steal a safe, I make no judgments, but swing with somebody else’s talent, and that’s what Swift did. My music, Lodi’s music, anybody who had it…. Streetcar Jones from Peter Gunn.

This is a very cool quote from an episode of Peter Gunn called Streetcar Jones. I can relate to what he’s saying. It’s true of all music. As musicians we are forever borrowing riffs from other players, expanding on them until they become something of our own style, they become our own riffs. If you learn someone else’s riffs and never learn to expand and make them something new, something uniquely your own, you never grow. Music should be a constant growing experience, you should always learn something new, something you never knew about the core of being a musician. Music should be static, not stagnant, ever expanding and increasing with time and space.  

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I needed to laugh

Live & Learn


…Apparently very hard.  A polar bear smells a seal under the ice.  Unfortunately for the bear, the ice is too thick.

Source: headlikeanorange via Planet Earth Live – BBC


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Only to forget

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I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Confucius

Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget. I forget who I am, what I stand for and I forget why I cry. Sometimes I forget that I am sick, but often I let it go. I forget that I have Grave’s disease, I forget that my heart is racing, I forget that I am sick, it’s all good, until you remind me. I will live with this until I die, could you not remind me please.

The Next Beautiful Karma Award

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The Next Beautiful Karma Award

 

If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them.  When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope?  We have two options, medically and emotionally:  give up, or fight like hell.  ~Lance Armstrong

My next award goes out to Renee at Nae’s nest. In case those of you who don’t follow my blog aren’t aware Renee has liver cancer and she is deathly afraid. I send this award out to you Nae to remind you to be strong. I offered to send you some of my bandanas, which you refused. I have a ton of hats I would gladly send you. If I knew what I could do to help you through this I would give it to you. Be strong! That’s my best advice to you. Please don’t be afraid because, at the end of the day, you are still beautiful! Beautiful to me! What can I do to help you? I know, the same thing I always do…a song….just for you my love. I may not physically be with you but I am with you in spirit…………..Peace, as always….Jaz Here’s your award! I drew this and I did this image of the crane when I had given up, I realized I wasn’t done yet! Don’t you dare give up!

 Here’s your song! I realize this is the worst song in the universe but I thought I would give it to you anyway. If nothing more it will hand you a laugh! 

It’s Freakin Cool!

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It’s Freakin Cool!

The water is your friend.  You don’t have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move.  ~Aleksandr Popov

I had forgotten how great swimming is. When you swim you are weightless, all that stands before you, above you, below you is the blue. How quickly we forget, but it only takes a child to make you remember. Kira made me go shopping for a new bathing suit, that was painful! It was well worth it. We dove, we swam and I forgot, until yesterday, how cool it was to swim. When you are in the water everything is free, you don’t feel pain, you don’t feel much of anything. The water, cold when it first touches the skin, reminds you that there is peace. I felt a relaxation I hadn’t felt in months, thank you Kira!

And on that note.

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I am a Salmon, yes I am

Source of Inspiration

How often we try to swim
against the current. The
river of life is powerful
and can easily sweep away
those who battle her. One of the
secrets of a peaceful life is
to go with the flow, to
surrender to the force of the
river and let her carry us
on our journey. Sure makes
life easier. Wish I had learned
this a long time ago.

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