I Just Have to Get This Off My Chest

I Just Have to Get This Off My Chest

Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting. Emmet Fox

I really have to get this off my chest because it has been bothering me. However, I need to do this in the most Buddhist fashion I can and that isn’t going to be easy because frankly I am really irked at this person. I have been going to meetings recently to help me maintain my sobriety. There are great, loving people there and as of yet I have not met anyone negative, that is until Saturday. The meeting was a good one and one person even received his award for 14 years of sobriety. We closed the meeting and without my knowing it this person who had received the award made a point of saying to me, “I remember you when you were living on Chicago Street, you were trying to get sober then, too.” Now I have to point out here that I haven’t lived on Chicago street for over 8 years, so it just goes to show how long my battle has been. This person who pointed this out to me isn’t a regular at our meetings, in fact I have never seen him there before. I think he simply showed up at our meeting because it was his day to receive his award and there were no other meetings on that day.  I didn’t recognize him and put it together who he was until after we had already left. He was the head of a group I used to attend about 9 years ago and I haven’t seen him again until Saturday. The fact is I didn’t like him then, and I surely don’t like him now, Buddha forgive me, but I abhor him and his critical, judgmental self. What right has he to judge me! I am so incredibly happy for him that he has managed to maintain 14 years of sobriety, Good for him. We can’t all be like him, in recovery, self-righteous and supercilious. Some of us have to fall and scrape our knees many many times before we get it. Was it really necessary for Mr. High-and-Mighty, Mr. I am so much better than you, Mr. Look at my award, to point out another person’s failure who is struggling with their sobriety. In a way I hope I never see the MF again, but at the same time I feel the strong need to point out to him that what he did was incredibly negative, incredibly out of line and incredibly the opposite of what we try to learn in our meeting about love and support. So, on that note, now that I have gotten that off my chest….Peace be with him, bastard that he is!

12 responses »

  1. As somebody I used to know always said to me – Just breathe…
    He will one day have to account for his actions. Let him not count you as one of his conquests…

  2. Jaz, first and foremost, kudos to you for dealing with your struggle. It is no easy path I am sure. A good rant is necessary every once in a while just to let that venom out of the system so it cannot hurt you anymore. Whenever someone makes a stupid comment like the one above, designed to at best make them feel better than you, or at worst, try to hurt you, always take a step back and try (i know, easier said than done), try to keep in mind, that you are who you are no matter what someone else may have said, and that you didn’t immediately change or morph into someone else because of their words. No one can define who you are but you alone.

    Cyberhugs and peace.

  3. Pingback: A Common Bond « catseyesk

  4. Hi Jaz! Your post reminds me of the person who brags about their humility. LOL! I, like you, find those types of people in meetings to be the least useful to me, except to the extent that they teach me patience, compassion and tolerance. They forget to work on their side of the street and think they’re helping with ours. C’est la vie! Best wishes in your exciting journey! Frank

    • Sorry Russel, that’s where you are wrong. Several other people know this jack wagon and agree he missed a few steps in his sobriety and he is an overbearing uncouth pig.

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