Daily Archives: August 22, 2012

No Smooth Cruise

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No Smooth Cruise

Aquarius Horoscope for week of August 23, 2012

Verticle Oracle cardAquarius (January 20-February 19)
I don’t expect your travels in the coming weeks to be like a smooth luxury cruise in a stretch limousine. Your route is not likely to be a straight shot through breathtaking scenery with expansive views. No, my dear Aquarius, your journeys will be more complicated than that, more snakey and labyrinthine. Some of the narrow passages and weedy detours you’ll need to navigate may not even resemble paths, let alone highways. And your metaphorical vehicle may resemble a funky old 1967 Chevy pick-up truck or a forklift bedecked with flowers. It should be pretty fun, though. Keep in mind that your maps may only be partially useful. 
Take inventory of the extent that “No” dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. “That’s not right.” 2. “I don’t like that.” 3. “I don’t agree with that.” 4. “They don’t like me.” 5. “I’m not very good.” 6. “That should be different from what it is.” For help in retraining yourself to say “Yes!” at least 51% of the time

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT 
If you’re reading this, you’re probably not a Cambodian orphan who grew up as a slave in a brothel or a Sudanese man kidnapped by a militia and forced to do heavy labor 18 hours a day or one of the millions of other victims of human trafficking around the world. But you may be yoked and subjugated in a less literal way, perhaps to a debilitating drug or an abusive relationship or a job that brings out the worst in you or a fearful fantasy about the looming collapse of civilization’s infrastructure. 

The good news is that you have the power to escape your bondage. Maybe it’ll help you muster the strength you need if I remind you that your freedom won’t be anywhere near as difficult to achieve as that of the Pakistani boy tied to a carpet loom in a dark room around the clock or the Nigerian woman who’s beaten daily as she toils in the sugar cane fields for no pay. 

Try this: When you feel overwhelmed by the sadness of your problems or the addiction of your compulsions, put on your best clothes and clean toilets at a homeless shelter, or give foot massages to workers at a sewage disposal plant, or sing songs, sip champagne, and play card games with patients at a psychiatric hospital. Be ready to get hit upside the soul with exotic varieties of ecstasy, which such acts will unleash. 

Attack of the Kangaroo

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Attack of the Kangaroo

It’s like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. Sid Waddell

I had a very bizarre dream the other night. I was having deja vu in my dream. We were playing a gig that we had done the year before, but the difference was that a year later we were playing the same gig and I was sober this time. I am in my dressing room getting ready and it’s getting near dark and as I look out on the horizon I see a troop of Kangaroos in uniforms coming out of the water onto the beach in front of the stage. All of them are wearing uniforms and berets. While I am in my dressing room getting ready I am having trouble with my white, 18th century wig with long curls and my turban. Meanwhile, the bass player is having trouble figuring out a song and there are other band members trying to take over the stage.  As I am walking away from the stage I am saying to the band, “Steve Eaton can’t take over! I worked hard to get this gig and Matt wil never stand for it.” Suddenly I am back in my dressing room and my new dress somehow got lit on fire and was ruined and I had nothing else to wear.  Very Bizarre…LOL.