Insecurities Suck LMAO….


Marriage brings up all the things I pushed to the back burner – the fears, the mistrust, the doubts, the insecurities. It’s like opening Pandora’s box. Jennifer Aniston

Ok I am in a very talkative mood so lets run with it. Before I start this let me be CLEAR. I AM NOT fishing for compliments! I am simply stating how I feel on a regular basis OK so don’t send me back a bunch of responses that say something to the effect of “No, you are great”, “You are beautiful” blah blah blah…I am just telling you straight out how I usually feel OK.

  1. I usually feel pretty unattractive on a daily basis
  2. Sitting in front of a band is intimidating and scares the crap out of me
  3. I realize that my head is too full of shit
  4. sometimes I speak out about things that upset me and I should just keep my mouth shut
  5. I feel how I feel about certain political and social issues and I should just learn to keep my mouth shut because I piss ppl off like Jobydopr, he’ll never speak to me again
  6. speaking your mind is not always a good thing
  7. It pisses me off that I can’t speak my mind without mortally wounding someone like Jobydopr
  8. I am insecure’
  9. I hate my voice
  10. I hurt ppl unintentionally because I have a really bad streak of being far too honest
  11. I am a mean person in spirit, hence the reason I am trying to be Buddhist and failing
  12. ppl have fucked me over so my mind set is if you’re gonna Fuck me, Fuck you back
  13. I hate my voice, did I say that. I hate the way I sing. The only reason I sing is because I started when I was 3 and I can’t seem to stop
  14. Did I mention that I hate the way I sing and I hate the sound of my own voice. The only reason I play music at all is because it was a great release emotionally from being abused as a kid
  15. I hate the sound of my own voice and being a writer is such a relief cuz I don’t have to listen to my own voice, which I said I hate BTW.
  16. Sometimes I wish I would have chosen a different path, like being an accountant or some shit. It sux being a musician. You are always different, no matter how much you try to meld, YOU never do.
  17. I hate myself, that’s a big one. Yes I hate my life and I hate me. That’s the big one! I hate being a musicians, whyt couldn;t I have just been a fat woman knitting sweaters?????
  18. Being a musician, a true musician sux ass
  19. I hate the fact that I am never good enough
  20. I hate me!

With that I leave you with about how I feel most of the time 

20 responses »

  1. Yes well…
    I knit sweaters. And I sing, And I play the piano.
    But never in front of others.
    one thing you should always keep in mind – no matter how you feel about your voice and your life tonight – tomorrow the sun will shine again.
    You have the courage to get up in front of people and do what you like best.
    so yeah, being a different, arty, emotional musician may suck sometimes – but I doubt it sucks all the time!!

  2. Sounds Like A Sunday Afternoon To Me, Ms. Jaz.
    Not My Thinking These Things About You, But Because I Think A Lot Of Them Myself.
    The Most Important Being #20.
    “I HATE ME!” I’ve Hated Me Since I Was 5yo, When I First Attempted Suicide. Everyone Said It Was Just Me Seeking Attention. But I Was Getting Plenty Of Attention Anyway For Fighting In School (which started for me in… …oh yeah, 1985, when I was… oh yeah, 5yo).
    My Life Has Been An Endless Stream Of Self-Hatred.
    So I Can At Least Empathize With You, Ms. Jaz.
    Life Is Hard.
    Living Life With A Personal Hatred Of Oneself Is So Much Harder.

    Love Ya, Dear.

  3. Oh crap, Jaz…..!
    Do you mean to say that you are just like everyone else…! Crap, crap, crap my lovely…!
    Except; you actually ‘do stuff’…. Yeah, you put yourself ‘out there’ in front of people and ‘do stuff’…
    Crap; most of the world would love to have the courage you have…!
    (I love you)….

Answering Machines Need Love Too, Please Leave a Message after the "BEEP"

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s