Yeah, I know I drink a lot, I know I do because I’m a writer and that’s what I do, I drink. I’m not like those people out there, I can control myself! I can, if – that – if I wanted to, I could, if I wanted. I can! I can!~Gwen Cummings, “28 Days“
I had almost, not quite, but almost forgotten that it was my 60 days. 2 months, sobriety birthday yresterday. I almost forgot because I have been too busy being sober. I know that may sound crazy, but it’s really not. What is crazy is the amount of years, months, days, minutes and seconds I wasted of my life drinking into a dark hole. I can’t believe how busy my life has become since I put the bottle away for good. My music has taken a precedence in my life, I’m accomplishing more than I ever could have believed was possible. One night of my life a week is dedicated to “sober” night. It’s an open jam that I host on Tuesday nights at a coffee house and we get a huge turn out from my friends in AA and it gets bigger and better every week. We are getting more bookings than ever and now, by the grace of my sobriety we are booked to play at “John Doe’s” for a two hour acoustic gig in mid September. After that we have the Indian Creek Festival. I also have the distinct honor of representing my family and our Welsh heritage at the Scottish festival, where all the Celtic nations are represented. My grandparents would be so incredibly proud. I owe all of this to my persistence in remaining sober, the love and support of my beautiful husband and my wonderful family. Thank goodness I am a stubborn person. The very quality that makes me an obstinate person is also the same quality that saved my life. For that I am grateful!
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
Today is my birthday! Not in a literal sense of the day I was brought into this world. It is my 30 day birthday of the day I woke up and decided to get sober and embrace the idea of sobriety once and for all. Sure, I have had attempts at sobriety over the last 10 years, but this is the first time I have embraced being sober and have had every intention of staying that way! If you have followed my blog you would know that since I started blogging on December 31, 2011 I have been up and down in my sobriety. What has changed for me now is that I have found a support group, a sponge (sponsor), I have included my family in my sobriety, I have a therapist, I am working the program and my attitude has changed. Am I excited about having my 30 days? Hell yes! Even one day is hard, not to mention 30! 31 days ago I was in hell. I had fought my battle with the bottle over and over again until I was so exhausted from the fighting I was ready to give up once and for all, literally. I told Michael all I needed was a bullet and a shovel. Yes, I was in that black of a place. Today I am so grateful to my friends, family and the people who have given me their support and love. Today I am sober. Today I am happy. Today I am FREE!
Here’s a list of things I have accomplished in my sobriety over the last 30 days:
- Learned over 20 new songs on guitar and vocals
- Played 4 new gigs
- Completed some new drawings
- Started a dream collage
- Made a plethora of new friends
- Found out that I can love myself
- Found out that I am stronger than I thought I was
- Started forgiving myself and others
I’m sure there are many that I am not thinking of but the point is that I am moving forward in my life instead of standing in a puddle of stagnant water that was sucking me down into a hole I may not have been able to climb out of. Thank you to all who have helped me on my path and thank you to those of you who may not be aware that you did…..Peace, always….Jaz
- Sobriety Junkie (realtimerecovery.wordpress.com)
Aquarius Horoscope for week of February 16, 2012
Jeep vehicles always feature seven slots on their front grills. Why? For the manufacturer, it’s a symbolic statement proclaiming the fact that Jeep was the first vehicle driven on all seven continents. Let’s take that as your cue, Aquarius. Your assignment is to pick an accomplishment you’re really proud of and turn it into an emblem, image, glyph, or talisman that you can wear or express. If nothing else, draw it on dusty car windows, write it on bathroom walls, or add it to a Facebook status update. The key thing is that you use a public forum to celebrate yourself for a significant success, even if it’s in a modest or mysterious way.
This is my horoscope for this week and it made me pause and think, “What is the one thing I am most proud of in this life?”. The answer came to me instantly, music. Music is the one thing I have always felt closest to, it inundates so many facets of my life and the clef note is such a pretty, exemplary symbol that I chose it to represent myself. I may not be the best musician but it is something I have always loved for the love of doing it, it’s never been about money, prestige, or accolades.
This is a link to a song we did last year. It is a cover of “Rhiannon” by Stevie Nicks, I hope you enjoy it.
Aquarius Horoscope for week of February 9, 2012
Maybe there is a soulmate for you in this world. Maybe there isn’t. But you can count on this: If that person is out there, you will never bond with him or her by clinging to a set of specific expectations about how it should happen. He or she will not possess all the qualities you wish for and will not always treat you exactly as you want to be. I’m sure you already know this deep down, Aquarius, but hearing it from an objective observer like me might help liberate you further from the oppressive fantasy of romantic perfection. That way you can better recognize and celebrate the real thing.
I don’t particularly believe in astrology, especially because I am Buddhist, but this week and the last few astrological projections from “Free Will Astrology” have been trying to tell me something and I really wish it would stop! I don’t know why the cosmic forces are messing with my world right now, and really, could you knock it off! I just only hope I don’t come back as a duck or some crazy thing like that in my next life, a good looking duck I would not make.
The fence around a cemetery is foolish, for those inside can’t get out and those outside don’t want to get in. Brisbane, Arthur
I am having claustrophobia today! It’s going to be my 42nd Birthday on Sunday and I’m sitting here postulating death! What a maudlin person am I to sit contemplating 50 when I haven’t yet begun to live. I realize of course I am just being foolish and on that note I think I will go out and have some fun!