Friends are like roses…you have to look out for the pricks!~ Anonymous.
Even before I finally became sober I was slowly eliminating “bad” friends out of my life. It was a long process, sometimes they just didn’t want to let go, but in order for me to maintain my sobriety I had to let them go. The first ones to go were the ones that enabled my drinking the most with their own drinking habits, these were actually the easiest. The ones that were closest to me were the hardest to let go of because they are the ones that hurt me the worse. One “friend”, the one I thought that loved me most betrayed me in such a way that I will never be able to forgive them. This person had gotten sober and found “god” but they didn’t eliminate some of their worse traits and I inadvertently found out that this person was never really a true friend in the first place because they went after something very close to my heart and tried to take it for their own when I was going through a very rough patch in my life. This same person has been trying to get back into my life, but what they don’t realize is that once they betrayed me in that way there is no hope whatever that they will ever get back into my life ever again.
Then there is this “friend” that had helped me out through a very rough patch in my life. I thought that they were being a “friend”. It wasn’t until after I was quite a ways into my sobriety that it came to me that they weren’t really a friend at all. This person had kept enabling me in my drinking, even though I had been telling them for months that I wanted to quit, that I needed to quit, that my life depended on my quitting. I finally realized how caustic this person really was and is. I finally told them to stay away from me, not to call me, and I explained to them that every time I saw them it took me right back to that bad place I was in just a few short months ago and I needed them to stay away from me because the memories were far too painful. I told this person that if I saw them I would turn and walk the other way because just simply by their presence it reminded me of the pit of hell I was in and it was hurtful to my sobriety.
Fortunately now I have a whole new group of friends that are loving and sober and working on the same goals that I am. They are supportive and have been with me since the first day I met them on our paths to sobriety. With friends like that who needs the trash of old enabling friendships sticking around with its stench and flies buzzing incessantly around.
“Our Similarities bring us to a common ground; Our Differences allow us to be fascinated by each other.” Tom Robbins
You might be in the right place when….You have an addiction and everyone there does too. You are in a room chalk full of complete strangers, yet the love and support is there for you to take and to give. You have a chance to untimely change your life through the kindness of others that share a similar bond with you. You have a place to go almost every night to receive love and support, you can listen to the trials and tribulations of others so similar to your own, and every single person here shares the exact same problem as you do. Their road map to getting to these hollowed rooms may have been different, but the perils and dangers are the same. Each road that each person traveled may have been different, but inevitably led to a choice of two paths, life or death. I only recently began going to meetings, but I know something now that I didn’t know then. In my past failures in my trials with sobriety I failed because I neglected to set up a solid support system of people like myself, struggle like myself and are needing support to make it through another 24 like myself. Thank Buddha I finally figured it out. I think I’m home.
Forget the worries and the drama; life is too short. Let’s kiss slowly, laugh insanely, live truly, and forgive quickly.-Unknown
Up until a very short while ago my life was in complete turmoil. It’s amazing how quickly life can turn around and everything is viewed in a different light with just a few changes. Most of the changes that came in my life were pretty major, but they were all for the better. I feel I have been given a second chance at life in many areas that I had given up on. I had given up on myself and any hope of living in sobriety and that was a huge change.I have been living sober and loving every minute of it. I had forgotten what a joy life can be when you are not looking through a set of amber glasses, clouded over with alcohol. I have been given a second chance with my daughter, who I was sure I had lost forever. For that I am eternally grateful and I have absolutely no intention of letting that ever slip from my hands again. My relationship with my husband has improved 110%. It wasn’t really bad before but it wasn’t great either. Somewhere, I’m not sure when, we lost sight of each other. It nearly caused us to separate. Now that we are back on solid ground I am so glad I finally had the where with all to see what I was doing wrong and have been given a chance at amends. I took our marriage for granted for far too long and in my blindness it was almost too late. It’s amazing to me how much things have changed in one month and I am ever so grateful that I was able to pull up out of the deep depression I was falling into. It was so deep I didn’t even realize I was going to crash and burn, but you never see that until you have moments of clarity and lucidity. I am going to take this opportunity that has been granted me and make the very best and most of it. For today is a new step toward a new day and a new way.