Tag Archives: Charles Dickens

I’m an Addict, Yes I am!

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I’m an Addict, Yes I am!

“I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He’s taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of his death from being a total surprise.”  ― Chuck PalahniukChoke

I’m sorry dear blog readers but I am an addict, and it’s not just alcohol my friends, oh no, that would be far to easy! I downloaded Erik Christian‘s book of poetry today on my Kindle, free, and guess what! I have 236 books in my Kindle just absolutely bitching at me to be put into a category. “Hell’s Bells, woman!”  I can hear Hemingway scream from the Keys, “What is your damn problem?” He asks as he yanks yet another huge marlin from the resistant sea. “Well, Mr Hemingway,” I say to him in my drunken stupor, “I really don’t know!” I look at the Marlin who is obviously pissed at this bastard for yanking him from his happy day of doing what marlins do, FISH! “I sincerely meant to put you and that damn Charles Dickens into the classics section but I must have lost my mind!” I say as I back away from one very pissed off marlin and one very rum drunk fisherman….Sorry just had to share….And now for your listening pleasure, what better than Jane’s Addiction, LOL

Living in Fear

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Living in Fear

 Charles Dickens – “Oh, haggard mind, groping darkly through the past incapable of detaching itself from the miserable present dragging its heavy chain of care through imaginary feasts and revels, and scenes of awful pomp seeking but a moment’s rest among the long-forgotten haunts of childhood, and the resorts of yesterday and dimly finding fear and horror everywhere” 

I have lived my life in constant fear without ever really knowing it. I am just beginning to learn how much my life has been shrouded in fear. It has caused me to be unable move forward in a lot of things, relationships, my music, a lot more than I care to count. Whenever I feel frightened of something or insecure my first reaction, my knee-jerk reaction is to close up and run. When you come from a distended family that is not affectionate and abusive you do this as a mode of protection. It’s a way of protecting yourself and shielding yourself from things that may hurt you, it’s the same reaction we have when something is flying at us, we curl up and turn away from it so it causes the least damage. I went to a concert last night and while walking there I noticed how bruised the sky looked, the sun had gone down for the most part and the clouds were shades of purple, blue and gray. It looked much like a healing bruise. If the sky can heal why can’t I?

It Just Takes One Little Thing

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It Just Takes One Little Thing

Charles Dickens – “It is not easy to walk alone in the country without musing upon something.”

Today when i was out for my daily walk I had this run in with a very cool squirrel. I was cruising along just enjoying my day when out of nowhere this squirrel bolts right in front of me and up a tree. He got in the Y of the tree and sat there laughing at me, I kid you not. I swear that had to have been one of the squirrels from that Geico commercial, you know the one where they high five after making the car wreck. Anyway, he just sat there staring at me and chattering away like he had somehow got the best of me. It was a pretty funny experience and sure helped lighten my heavy mood of the last few days.  It’s funny how little things like that can take a pretty rotten day and make it feel better.