Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin
I will be the first to admit that I am a cynic. I have lived my life distrusting of other peoples motives, because aren’t all humans urged by the need for some personal gain of their own. In reality I have always questioned people’s sincerity and motives, whether they stemmed from the true spirit of giving of themselves to another purely for unselfish motives or if their input was driven by self-serving motives. My circle of friends is small, my circle of acquaintances large. I keep the ones who I know have no ulterior motives close and everyone else I keep at arms length as acquaintances or even further away than that. The more I get to know a person determines the distance of their relationship with me directly in proportion to their motives. Being cynical isn’t hard, in fact it is quite easy, in truth it is being optimistic about the human race that is hard. It is my genuine hope that I will one day learn to not be such a cynical, distrusting person, but it is a very hard thing to do when you find that a majority of the people you meet on a daily basis are only becoming acquainted with you because they “think” you have something to offer them rather than in the genuine spirit of friendship. They extend a hand to you as a “friend” with motives untrue and fettered by wants and desires.
“Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girls mouth!”
― Gemma Halliday, Deadly Cool
Kira and I have been insanely busy getting ready for our gig on Wednesday, she has been stressed out because of the rehearsal time involved. Now, to add to her stress, she just found a bunch of nude pics of a girl that lives 2 doors down from her boyfriend. If that’s not bad enough, this girl and Kira’s boyfriend have been exchanging sexual text messages. She came home crying and I held her. I don’t know how to tell her that 18 year old boys do really stupid things. I didn’t know how to tell her that 18 year old boys think with their little head. I didn’t know how to take away her hurt. It made me cry, like the first time she got her inoculations, or the first time she scraped her knee. But this, this is far worse because her pain is inside and I don’t have a band-aid for that and it hurts me inside that I can’t help her. All I can do is give her words and support her. I told her to dump the ass clown immediately, problem is, she’s in love with him. We know, as adults, how quickly and easily we forgive when we love someone really deep. All I can do now, as a mother, is support her and try to keep her busy so she doesn’t sit and dwell on the fact that this boy, that I liked so well, is not worthy of her love.
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From the television show The Wonder Years
Do you remember the first time we met, my love? You stepped out of your red and silver truck and walked into my world and my life. It’s as if I knew from the moment I saw you that I would be with you, always. Do you remember the first time we touched, my love? It was passion unbridled. It was an intense expression of longing and need. It was music, pure and untainted. Do you remember what our joining did, my love? It saved me from a brutal mentally abusive situation to a man who took me for granted. A man that was trying to destroy me, and probably would have if you hadn’t saved me. Do you remember, my love? I do and always will. Thank you for being the most vital part of my life and my love.
This is our version of Landslide, it means the world to me and was one of the first songs we produced.
click here for a link to Landslide by Jaz and EZ Street http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=2550123&ac=now