Unplanned Pregnancy

Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. Fred Rogers

I have been avoiding writing this blog since the bomb got dropped. My daughter came home from a camping trip with her boyfriend’s family and informed me she was pregnant. I feel disappointed, but then that goes to my expectations that she was getting out of high school early and would have great plans for her future. Instead she moves in with me, meets this boy on Facebook and within a month of being with him she is pregnant. At first she wanted to abort, now the great plan is to carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption. I will support her decision, I may not like any of it, but I will support her. When my ex-husband and I separated we made the decision that Kira should stay with him because I was going to school, working and touring as a musician and my life was not conducive to raising a child. He, on the other hand, had a steady 9-5 job and had a stable home. This was all great, the bad thing about it was the time Kira and I spent apart, and then when he remarried the woman he brought into my daughter’s life did everything in her power to keep Kira and I further apart than ever, and she was a raging alcoholic to boot, worse than me I think.

Joe was over protective and Kira had no practical worldly experience at all. So, once Kira graduated and got her wings the first thing she did, within a few weeks of graduating, was to move in with me, meet a boy and get pregnant. She doesn’t see how much she has changed her life by stepping too quickly up to the plate of life and hitting a wild fly ball. She is staying with her boyfriend, but neither of them have any stability what-so-ever, no jobs, no car, no future and no plan. I am really in a quandary here. My mother and I have discussed it and Kira has a home here, but her boyfriend does not. I have made that perfectly clear. He needs to get his poop together and I am not going to support them both and neither is my mother. His dad got sick of them and booted them out, big loss there, his dad is living at a campground in an RV. The point is, they are running out of places to go and my daughter refuses to let this boy go and take care of her own self. The fact is I don’t really understand it, I don’t understand why she is doing this to herself. But, the fact remains that I love her, but I will not, under any circumstances get sucked into supporting her and her boyfriend, period! Maybe I am wrong, but that is how I feel.