No Resolutions Only Evolution’s…

A woman has many faces as she goes through her life. It’s like we need more than one hair-do. We have many, many changes in the evolution of our lives. We have, we learn, and we grow; we view life differently, and life views us differently.
Sharon Stone

This year I am making no resolutions! Instead I am making evolution’s.  I have plans to evolve into a better musician, a better human being, a kinder and gentler person. I want to evolve as a writer and artist. Last year at this time my future looked very bleak indeed. This year I have high hopes! We have things this year that we didn’t have last year. This year we have a full 5 piece band that is working. This year I have a job as a free-lance writer for a company that actually pays me what I am worth. This year we also have a small acoustic side project going on. This year the only thing missing is Mike finding a good day job that still allows him the freedom to keep pursuing music, I know it will happen with a little faith and good karma. This year I am changing my stage appearance. Over the years it went from heavy black to pinstripe outfits to hippie. This year I don’t know what I am shooting for, I guess you will have to wait to see. This year I promise to keep my anger in check. I kind of lost my mind at the end of this year and spewed a bunch of crap that I shouldn’t have, and for that I am sorry. I am human, and I make mistakes. This year I also promise to forgive myself. This is the year of the sublime evolution! Happy New Year to all my friends and family, I love each and everyone of you for all your love and support and only hope I can give back 1/10th of what you all have given to me! With that I leave you with Fleetwood Mac, enjoy! 🙂

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So Far So Good…

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. John Barrymore 

We are back on track, finally. I was beginning to think we were done as a band, but the addition of John Fast to our line up really added some fresh blood to this band that we desperately needed. It would have sucked if we would have broke up before we had a chance to get going. I’m also loving my new boots, they are hurting my feet a little, but I am breaking them in and they are soooooooooo cute! We have a meeting with Barb’s today to set up gigs for 6 months and now, we can finally move forward and I can do it in my new boots LOL. 🙂 There is nothing so wonderful as moving forward after a period of stagnancy where you didn’t know if you were going to take two steps backward or two steps forward. Other than that, my writing is going well. I am bringing in a regular paycheck every week from writing, which makes me so very happy! Life is good my friends and with that I leave you with Yngwie (pronounced Ingvay)

 

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Reflecting….

I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. Tony Robbins 

It’s hard to believe that I started this blog almost a year ago. I started writing this blog on New Year’s Eve 2011 and as it almost dawns on New Year’s Eve 2012 I was thinking back at the amazing amount of changes that have occurred in our lives over the last year. When I started this blog Michael and I had just gotten back together after a forced separation due to legal circumstances. We almost broke up several times at the beginning of 2012 and, in fact, I almost left him and he almost left me more than once. We both struggled with bouts of alcoholism, me more than him. We went through the AA program together and are stronger for it. This last year I have hit some of my darkest nights and yet at other times I have seen some of my brightest days. In the last year we have lost “friends” to betrayal and back stabbing, we have lost musician friends, but at the end of the day our relationship has grown stronger through all the trials and tribulations. We have grown closer as friends and our love has grown deeper. We have managed to regain something through our music, that something special that has always been the glue that held us together.

During the last year I gained some of the lost time with my daughter and grown closer than ever to my mother. I have become a better rhythm guitar player and taught myself to sing in Welsh. I have learned more about myself as a musician in the last year than I have in 42 years of life. We have played some really fantastic gigs over the last year, and have many more to come. I moved up in the writing world from being an internet writer to writing for a real magazine and making my worth for the articles I write. My photography editing skills are getting better and better and I am continuing to work on my dream collage. I have no idea when, if ever that will be finished. It’s an ever evolving dream journal in images. 

I have seen friendships end and new friendships sprout. I have also seen friendships that I thought were dead in the water re-sprout with new life of forgiveness and understanding. With each dying flower a new one sprouts in its place, a more beautiful one I believe, richer in color and smell. At the end of the day, and almost year, life is very good. It is as hard as it ever was, but we are happy, and I know that come what may Michael and I will continue to grow together, to love together, and to perform together. Life is very good my friends!

With that I leave you with The Supremes and the beautiful Diana Ross…

Getting the Funk Out!!!

Funk, I don’t think I have anything to do with funk. I’ve never considered myself funky. David Bowie

Ok, I am here to tell you that I have officially fallen out of funk! That’s right, the funk is over, I got funking sick of being in a funk and I am moving on. On top of being depressed about the whole CL attack thing, and the funking bass player thing I was totally funking sick. But, I am funking over it! 🙂 I have spent the last 4 days in recuperation reading, something I never get to do. I have finished up “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” for the second time and I loved it more the second reading than I did the first. I also read Oscar Wildes’ “The Picture of Dorian Gray“, which I absolutely loved. His eloquent prose on art and hedonism touched such a deep nerve in me as an artist and musician. I wanted to share with you a passage I read that really hit home.

“The only artists I have ever known who are personally delightful are bad artists. Good artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are. A great poet is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible  He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize.”

With that I leave you with something fun  and different….

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Best Friend….

 Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars. Violeta Parra

We had a falling out, Donna and I did. We both did some stupid things to each other that caused a friendship of over 27 years to fall away, awash in mistrust and lies. We really stopped our friendship about a year ago and I won’t go into the reasons why here, it’s irrelevant. Needless to say, we have finally forgiven each other. It took some time and some work, but we are friends once again. Yes, we have renewed our friendship but there is a certain amount of trust that has been shattered and can’t ever be retrieved. No matter what I can always forgive, but I will never forget, I can’t, the pain is still too fresh, too new. So, we are friends at arms length. Is it good to have her back in my life, I don;t know yet…..That remains to be seen. On the other hand, my best friend, Brian (Boo), who is my daughter’s Godfather, pretty much blew me off. We were supposed to go do something together while he was here from Pocatello and we didn’t. He stopped in to see me for like a 1/2 hour on Tuesday and that was it. He has gone back home now. I had asked him to stick around and come see us play tonight at The Gathering Place, but he wanted to be home yesterday. It hurts that he didn’t make more time for me. Ci est la vie.

With that I leave you with queen…

 

The Hardest Thing….

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. Emo Philips

It appears that I am caught in some sort of karmic justice boomerang. I keep running into people from my past that I thought were long gone. I find, even after all this time, literally years, I still have trouble letting go of “stuff”. Believe me I try, but it isn’t easy. The Buddhist in me says that I must forgive and let go in order to move forward, but it is so hard when all these mix of emotions come welling up inside. You put on a good face and just try to pretend like everything is ok, when deep down inside you know it’s not. You’re standing there smiling at this person that hurt you, you are saying “Hi” and all the general small talk, and you know that you are simply putting on a false front, you are bald face lying when your smiling! I don’t know whether I hate myself more for being fake and pretending a false forgiveness that I don’t honestly feel or whether I hate myself more so for my inability to let go and go on. I am trying to grow as a Buddhist and I find that at times like this my faith and belief is really put to the test. Maybe this is karma’s way of giving them a chance to say “I am sorry”. I don’t know. I do know that two simple words go a long way toward mending the bridge of past hurts and ill will. With that I leave you with one of my all time favorite heartbreak songs…..

 

Stumped….

“Everyone has his own reality in which, if one is not too cautious,timid, or frightened, one swims. This is the only reality there is.”  ― Henry Miller, Stand Still Like the Hummingbird

Life is funny. Somedays it feels like my life is moving faster than a speeding bullet, and on others it feels like I am standing utterly still. I don’t really know what to do with myself when I am standing motionless. I think I much prefer the speed of sound. There are days when I get on my computer to do my work as a writer or to take care of band business and 8 hours later I am sick to death of seeing the screen and the keyboard. Then there are other days, days like today, where I am staring at the screen and keyboard with a blank deer in headlights look because there is nothing to do. I have all of my articles wrapped up for the week, the band webpage is as far as I can go with it for now and the only things I have to do are write down the lyrics to a couple of new songs that we are in the process of learning. I think once that’s done it is a good day to clean house and catch up on “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.”  Have a peaceful day everyone and with that I leave you with one of my favorite Concrete Blond songs….

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Can’t See the Forest for the Trees…

To see the forest for the trees (idiomatic) To discern an overall pattern from a mass of detail; to see the big picture, or the broader, more general situation. As demonstrated by the example sentence above, it is used in negative constructions, often starting with can’t or couldn’t.

There is nothing so disappointing as realizing that someone in your life has given up, given up on themselves and everyone around them. What’s even worse is when they give up before you even really get started. It’s hard to sit idly by and watch someone you care about spew negativity out of their mouth. They spew infectious negative thoughts that affect everyone around them. I have absolutely no tolerance for people that give up so easily, people that embrace their negativity and spew it out like an infectious disease to everyone around them. What is it they say? “Misery loves company.” I for one refuse to be a part of that type of hyperbolic miasma. My thought is go away and stay away until you hear a big “POP”. That would be the sound of your head coming out of your ass.

With that I give you The Rolling Stones….

How You Treat Others

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill 

How you treat others and speak to them is a direct reflection of yourself. If you look down on others and treat them with disdain what is this saying about you as a person? On the other side of the coin, if you treat each and every person with courtesy and respect what does that say? Recently I have had the experience of running into both ends of the spectrum. I have had one person that was so rude and short with me that I will never speak with that person ever again. This person treated me as if I was no better than a little bug under their shoe. On the other hand I have met some very sweet people that have been warm and inviting and in the end formed some new friendships. In the middle of the spectrum I have a friend who is incredibly self-involved and only seems to be focusing on their own current negative situation. They are so busy having a pity party that they are completely oblivious to the people around them and the difficulties of their friend’s situations. If you are hurting, this person is hurting 10 x’s worse. You know this person. Rather than focusing their energy on fixing the situation they blow their horn vociferously to anyone who will listen about their terrible situation and how no one is helping them. Part of the problem with this, beyond the obvious, is when a person does this their friends will draw away from them like pulling back from a hot stove. Truly, it is ok to tell people your situation, but always try to have a positive outlook and a plan on how you can fix it. No one is going to fix it for you. If you sit and cry to people all day, everyday, about your situation you are 1. wasting energy that could serve a better purpose and 2. Pushing people away from you as surely as if you were a hot, flaming coal of self-pity. No matter how bad your situation is it serves you better as a person to always keep in mind that your situation could be worse and you are not the only one hurting in this world. We all need to vent and let our friends and family know what’s going on with us, but it’s ultimately important to take the high road and if one avenue doesn’t work, explore other avenues. Eventually you will find the road that works, and never give up. No matter what, keep in mind that the things you spew out of your mouth can end up coming back to bite you and push people away. With that I leave you with the Beatles, have a peaceful day 🙂

Taking Stress in Stride…

Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it. Hans Selye 

As with all things in life there is stress. For the most part I am taking the stress with music, the band, the clients and people who come to see us play in stride. I admit that it does get a little overwhelming at times. Ok, I lied, it can be hellya overwhelming and really stressful, but I’m trying hard not to let it get me down. The stress in and of themselves are minor, but they culminate as a whole and at times push me into wanting to lock myself in my room, shut people out and just gel for about 2 days. Unfortunately I can’t. We have these intense financial worries and until I start work on Monday and see some checks start to roll in I am going to have that on my head. Our mortgage is due and we aren’t anywhere near having the money to pay it, we spent our last bit of money on gas to get to the gig last night. No one made any more than the gas money we had already paid in last night so Mike and I have got to go get a loan to get through the rest of the week. We really want to help Giuseppe out but he has to respect the fact that we need to be getting paid to play, a real paycheck, not relying on the kindness of people’s tips to pay our wages. After Halloween things are going to change because we have to be getting paid, unfortunately we don’t have the energy or financial resources to keep playing for free. I will find someone to take over for us as soon as I can so that Giuseppe can try to keep his business going but I have to move this band forward. We will keep it up as long as we can, but we have had offers from 2 different venues and I have to take them for our sake because the band members have made it clear that playing for free is ok for now, but not much longer, and if I don’t move us forward I am running the risk of the band falling apart before we even have a chance to get started. I am not going to sacrifice this band for anything, we have all worked too damn hard to see it go up in smoke because we couldn’t make a decent nights wages for playing our hearts out. Don’t take this wrong, I am not really bitching here, I am just stating the facts as they are and trying to express a little of the stress I am feeling so that I can get it out of my system and push us forward. With that I leave you with John Mayer, one of my favorite guitar players/vocalists

Beautiful Karma Award

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched …but are felt in the heart.” – Helen Keller

I have been so busy the last few weeks and it’s been awhile since I have given out a Beautiful Karma Award so I thought I would take some time to acknowledge some of the bloggers that I feel convey beautiful karma in so many precious ways. I usually do one at a time, but with my schedule being what it is I am going to pick a few of my favorites. First up is Miss Bommie Bol,  she always has such positive insight, whether it be through her poetry, short stories or just quips about her family and daily life, she always has some positive nugget to share that reading her posts are a joy!

Next up is Bradley at You Jivin’ Me, Turkey?. I love this guy! He always posts the best music and I love his quotes from some of the most prolific figures in history! He’s an incredibly funny guy and you talk about a person who is so full of piss and vinegar you can’t help but laugh when he gets on a roll! To read him is to love him!

 Next up is Christine over at SOMETHINGVILLE. She is always putting out so much good, positive energy that I’m sure she is needing to duck from all the good karma boomerangs coming back at her. Duck Christine, here comes another one, LOL! 🙂

There so many here at WordPress that simply make my day with their writing, photos, songs and with their positive input to my blogs as well. Oh, I have one more to add to the list, I can’t forget Russel over at Russel Ray Photos. This man has been following my blog since pretty near the beginning and I love his photography. He’s one of the most positive people I know and it is conveyed through his photos and words. He’s very much a talented writer, photographer and friend and his wise old grandmother would be proud of him. Russel, thank you for camping out on my blog! You always leave the campsite so neat and clean!

Here’s your awards and song:

“The Dolphin’s Cry”-Live

The way you’re bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin’ left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you’re all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me

love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin’s cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it’s in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us

oh yeah, we meet again
it’s like we never left
time in between was just a dream
did we leave this place?
this crazy fog surrounds me
you wrap your legs around me
all I can do to try and breathe
let me breathe so that I
so we can go together!

love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin’s cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it’s in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us

life is like a shooting star
it don’t matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it’s just a waste of time
we are lost ’til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over

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How I Feel….

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou 

My spirits are incredibly high. I have had some very good karmic payback over the last couple of weeks. The new band is going so well, and Mike and I have waited for a band like this to come along for so long. We have both been in bands together through the years but never quite this good. EZ Street is picking up gigs faster than any of us could have anticipated and for the band this is absolutely a testament to the chemistry we have as a band. We all have our financial worries, many of us have no full time jobs and these gigs are going to make the difference in whether we have gas or not, so this is a great thing for us all. If only we were independently wealthy. Fortunately I got my new position freelance writing for The Travel Council Magazine which will take some of the pressure off of Mike, not all of it, but some. These gigs are really going to help us out financially. I am happy and content, busy but happy. It didn’t even phase me this week when I was trying to get a promoter to help us get some of these bigger events and he was short with me and very rude. He treated me like crap and if he were to approach me tomorrow and say he wants to help us out I would basically tell him to get bent! The sad thing of it is is that I know this band is that good and he just screwed up and closed any door with us that he might have hoped to have in the future. To make matters worse the guy works with my producer in another local band. It’s sad that people have to pull that holier than thou, my poo doesn’t stink attitude. C’est la vie my friend, you just burned that bridge by your very attitude. It’s ok because I know that I am a strong enough person and have enough where-with-all that I can do it myself, I was just trying to take some of the pressure off of myself, but I will just keep on keeping on. 🙂

On that note I leave you with one of my favorite all time happy-happy, joy-joy songs by Jimmy Cliff, enjoy 🙂

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It’s Amazing….

I’m amazed that things have panned out the way they have. I always say I’m so lucky, though my mum always says, “You make your own luck.” Orlando Bloom

That quote pretty much says it all. This has been an amazing week! The jam is going incredibly better than I could have ever expected, we have this amazing gentleman, Taduz Lemke, that is going to showcase with us. I got a new freelance writing position with a magazine, and our band has been asked to sit in on a 1/2 hour set at a venue that Michael and I had played years ago. This has the potential of blooming into a regular gig. This isn’t everything, we have been asked to play at a benefit for a premie baby named baby Maxwell and it is opening up doors to us that I never knew existed. This must be the week where I collect on some of my unspent karma points my friends. The band is doing fantastic and I am ever so proud of the progress we have made in just at 2 weeks together. We are getting ready to record some demos so hopefully I will have something for you to listen to very soon! With that I leave you with Sir Paul….

All I Wanna Do…

I found this image and quote quite funny! My days have taken on quite a dramatic turn. I get up in the morning, make my coffee and spend the next 5-6 hours working on band business. You wouldn’t believe how much there is. I respond to every Facebook response we have as a band and personally, I work on working lists for rehearsals and set lists for gigs and the list goes on. I love it and I am really doing what it is I love to do. I have found myself surrounded by some of the best musicians this valley has to offer and I am a very lucky woman indeed.  On that note I will leave you with Sheryl Crowe…

Smooth!

There’s an inherent thing in me where, if things are going too smooth, I’ll sabotage the hell out of them, just to make the music more of a sanctuary. Daniel Johns 

When things are going well it kind of intimidates me because it seems I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. LOL. I know I should stop being a pessimist and cynical, but I think as humans we are all like this. Things in my life are going so smoothly that even a little bump in the road this week, a backstabbing by a so-called friend, didn’t even phase me. What is wrong with me?! The music is flowing well, by vocals are building back up to the level of playing with a full band again, and I am happy. We are all healthy and I really haven’t one single complaint. Money is tight, as always, but this is nothing new. So life is good. I will take the smooth road, thank you very much and could I have a large side of fries with that? 😀

Happy Day!

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy? Albert Einstein 

I am happily exhausted. I am up after only a few hours sleep after last nights gig. I am happier with this new line-up of musicians that we have hired on than I have been in the longest time! To read more about the jam last night go to my EZ Street A Day in the Life blog. Life is very good. My poor Mojo still has a little cold, but he’s a happy cat. He has a home  food and milk and a dog that likes to sniff him, what more could he ask for? My brother is ok after hitting that cow. He’s a little bruised, but he did the smartest thing. When he saw the cow he didn’t even try to swerve, he knew it was far too late so he braced himself and hit it straight on. I know it’s terrible and I feel so bad for the cow. What angers me about this whole damnable thing is that my brother could have been killed and all because these damn ranchers are allowed to let their cattle free range. It’s dangerous and they should be required to put up fencing! Not only that but they can sue the person who hit the cow! What kind of BS assbackwards crap is that. Anyway, I am just ever so grateful he is alive. Life is good!

 

I’m Too Sexy!

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” –Billy Crystal

Here’s Mojo being all sexy, LOL! I don’t have much today because I have to load equipment and unfortunately my brother had an accident and totalled his truck so I have to run to Mountain Home to drop off the keys to his rig that got towed. He is really lucky, he could very well have died. He hit a cow that an idiot rancher allows to free range and the sad thing is is that he is probably going to get sued for the value of said cow! Idaho has seriously got to rethink the fn laws regarding these idiot ranchers that allow their cows to free range!

Tuning in with Nature

“It is in your power to withdraw yourself whenever you desire. Perfect tranquility within consists in the good ordering of the mind,– the realm of your own.” ― Marcus Aurelius

We took some time out of our crazy rehearsal schedule today to take a bike ride along the river and the pond and I thought I would share some of the pics I took with you. It was so peaceful and quiet, we rode along at a relaxed pace and just enjoyed the scenery.

Fall Leaves

Mr. Dragonfly

Boise River

Duckys

Mike in the Tree

Caldwell Pond

All Thee Above and Then Some!

I don’t know what I did to deserve such an auspicious honor but All Thee Above was so sweet and posted a blog about me on Here is Recommended Sites Tuesday. I appreciate the kudos very much! Thank you so much my friend. I am now the proud owner of two blogs, this one of course and my new one at EZ Street a Day in the Life. My Buddha Blog is a personal journey that started on New Year’s Eve of 2011 and will hit it’s one year evolution on 12-31-2012. It’s amazing how much one can go through in one year on the search for spiritual growth. My EZ Street Blog is all about my journey as a musician and all that is involved with the life of a professional musician. I will be discussing the daily joys and frustrations that go along with being in the entertainment field. I am very curious to see the evolution one year from now. I can tell you the path has been a long one and it won’t stop until I am on my death bed. So for those of you who follow my blogs, thanks for coming along for the ride. I hope I have made it enjoyable and entertaining, even when I’m bitching…. 😀 Much love and peace, Jaz

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Got My Mojo Working!

Mr. Mojo Risin’, Mr. Mojo Risin’ , Got to keep on risin’ ~Jim Morrison

I finally got my Mojo in sync with the balance of the universe. Things have chilled out and gelled as I said they would. I finally have some time to catch up on the things I have been missing the last few months, good grief I even had time to create a new blog called EZ Street A Day in the Life. What is wrong with me, LOL. Life is very good. I am having the time of my life getting in touch with my musical nature and meeting some very cool cats along the way. Of course there is always the good with the bad, life wouldn’t be balanced without bad vs good, but overall I am a lucky woman indeed. I have a husband who loves me and I am surrounded and blessed with some of the most supportive and loving friends a person could chose to have, including my wonderful blogging buddies here at WordPress. The other great thing that happened recently was that I thought my camera was hopelessly broken and it turns out that it just happens to be very picky about your choice of batteries, so very soon I will be posting more pics. Well enough joy and flowers today, it’s time to get to work…..Much peace and love my friends and if you have time stop by my new blog and say hello. I love hearing from you!

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Wings, Aquarius Horoscope 9-20-2012

Aquarius Horoscope for week of September 20, 2012

Are you excited about your new detachable set of invisible wings? They’re ready. To get the full benefit of the freedom they make available, study these tips: 1. Don’t attach them to your feet or butt; they belong on your shoulders. 2. To preserve their sheen and functionality, avoid rolling in the muddy gutter while you’re wearing them. 3. Don’t use them just to show off. 4. It’s OK to fly around for sheer joy, though. 5. Never take them off in mid-flight. 

Well Mr. Brezney, you have done it again. He has somehow tapped into the pulse of what is happening in my life, even though I don’t really believe in astrology. Tomorrow I get my driver’s license back after a one year suspension for an accident that I got into. And no, alcohol was not a factor. I’m not going to go into the details but to keep it simple I was in shock and left the scene, unintentionally, but never the less I did. The judge did not want to suspend me but the state does it automatically. At any rate, Rob has hit the nail on the head, I finally get my wings back tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier, except for the fact that I am going to have to be a taxi service for my mother, but that’s ok because she shouldn’t be driving and I have time to give her. Life is good!

I’m Back, For Now….LOL

Absence of proof is not proof of absence. William Cowper 

Hello all! I know I have been absent the last few weeks. I have had an absolutely insane rehearsal schedule getting ready for these big festivals. One down and one more to go on the 29th and then my schedule will mellow out. I hope! I have missed reading everyone’s blogs, it’s like missing my morning paper and cup of coffee. I hope this blog finds everyone healthy and happy. I have been so busy that I didn’t even notice the You Jivin Me, Turkey? had re-blogged my song “Of This Land”. Thank you so much for that, I am really glad you liked it enough to re-blog it, you’re the bomb baby! I had a few minutes today between rehearsals to post and let everyone know what I am up to. After a very hard 2 month song search I have finally come up with 15 songs for the Celtic Festival. They are going to be a mix of songs from folk Welsh songs to songs by Welsh musicians that are well known in America. I am excited about the song choice and the festival, but let me tell you, learning to sing in Welsh is no easy task! I have missed you all and will try to catch up on some of your blogs today….Peace, as always my friends, Jaz

 

 

Loving Yourself; Aquarius Horoscope 9-13-2012

Aquarius Horoscope for week of September 13, 2012

“The far away, the very far, the farthest, I have found only in my own blood,” said poet Antonio Porchia. Let’s make that thought your keynote, Aquarius. Your assignment will be to search for what’s most exotic and unknown, but only in the privacy of your own heart, not out in the great wide world. For now at least, the inner realm is the location of the laboratory where the most useful experiments will unfold. Borrowing from novelist Carole Maso, I leave you with this: “Make love to the remoteness in yourself.” 
When they say “Be yourself,” which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage.

Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you. 

For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery. 

Fantasize that your so-called “dark side” is sweet and creamy. 

When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage. 

Dream you’re a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall. 

Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. 

Buy seven used gowns worn to the Academy Awards show by famous actresses, and send them gratis to seven Guatemalan teenagers. 

Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river. 

Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times. 

Falling Down

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius

Ok let’s just get this out of the way right now. I fell off the wagon. Don’t ask me to explain how or why it happened, because I honestly don’t know. Am I blaming some one or some thing, hell no! I did this all alone. However, the cool thing is I have my program and all my friends rallied around me to brush off the dust and apply ointment to the skid marks. I am still loved. It’s great to be an alcoholic because I have a village of Indians that stopped to see what fell off the wagon and rallied together to see what they could do with it….Yes, I can laugh because I may have fallen but I am not down for the count. I am loved and for today I am happy and sober.

Bye Bye Bad Friendships!

Friends are like roses…you have to look out for the pricks!~ Anonymous. 

Even before I finally became sober I was slowly eliminating “bad” friends out of my life. It was a long process, sometimes they just didn’t want to let go, but in order for me to maintain my sobriety I had to let them go. The first ones to go were the ones that enabled my drinking the most with their own drinking habits, these were actually the easiest. The ones that were closest to me were the hardest to let go of because they are the ones that hurt me the worse. One “friend”, the one I thought that loved me most betrayed me in such a way that I will never be able to forgive them. This person had gotten sober and found “god” but they didn’t eliminate some of their worse traits and I inadvertently found out that this person was never really a true friend in the first place because they went after something very close to my heart and tried to take it for their own when I was going through a very rough patch in my life. This same person has been trying to get back into my life, but what they don’t realize is that once they betrayed me in that way there is no hope whatever that they will ever get back into my life ever again.

Then there is this “friend” that had helped me out through a very rough patch in my life. I thought that they were being a “friend”. It wasn’t until after I was quite a ways into my sobriety that it came to me that they weren’t really a friend at all. This person had kept enabling me in my drinking, even though I had been telling them for months that I wanted to quit, that I needed to quit, that my life depended on my quitting. I finally realized how caustic this person really was and is. I finally told them to stay away from me, not to call me, and I explained to them that every time I saw them it took me right back to that bad place I was in just a few short months ago and I needed them to stay away from me because the memories were far too painful. I told this person that if I saw them I would turn and walk the other way because just simply by their presence it reminded me of the pit of hell I was in and it was hurtful to my sobriety. 

Fortunately now I have a whole new group of friends that are loving and sober and working on the same goals that I am. They are supportive and have been with me since the first day I met them on our paths to sobriety. With friends like that who needs the trash of old enabling friendships sticking around with its stench and flies buzzing incessantly around.